We are repeatedly told that we should forget about unpleasant experiences (failures) and focus on pleasant ones (successes).
I agree totally with the last part of this proposition but only partly with the bit on forgetting about your unpleasant experiences.
Rather, I think unpleasant experiences must be confronted and "neutralized", otherwise they will always be lurking in your subconscious, ever ready to pounce upon you.
Don't delude yourself into thinking that they can simply and safely be swept under the carpet. Pull them right out and cut them down to size.
Clip their wings before they come back out to haunt you and poison your life.
These are ferocious little beasts that create pernicious feelings of guilt, anger, powerlessness leading straight to anxiety, depression and lowered self-esteem.
These are creatures of Darkness and nothing terrifies them as much as Light.
Pull them out and examine them in broad daylight and then you'll realize they are not as terrible as they seem.
In broad daylight, they melt away and become not just innocuous but even useful: they teach you lessons in what NOT to do.
And that is how you can learn from failure and turn negative experiences into positive, highly empowering lessons.
And "all's well that ends well"!
In the words of Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler: "Every successful person throughout history has also faced and dealt with their own personal collection of fears and negative internal messages".
Anybody can do it!
Reserve some time to be by yourself or, better still, at night, before you fall off to sleep
1. Make a list of all your unpleasant experiences, all that you can remember, as far back as you can remember. Don't force yourself. Just take it easy
2. Carefully examine each one of those experiences and answer the following questions, as accurately as possible :
What happened exactly? Why? Where was it? When was it? How did it end? Why do you consider it as a negative experience? What might have been the consequences if it had ended otherwise (Envisage as many possible consequences as possible)? Don't you think things might have been worse if it had ended otherwise (Are you sure it wasn't a blessing in disguise, after all)?
3. After asking and answering all those questions, you'll find yourself relieved, as if a terrible weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
Your "negative experience" has now been reduced to its rightful size and rendered innocuous by being examined in the Light of Day. It will no longer come to haunt you.
4. From now on, you will do the same with even your most recent negative experiences and you'll soon feel that these will happen more and more rarely.
When you sit and examine your life, you'll see more and more success, less and less failure. You will carry out this exercise from time to time, maybe once a week.
5. Now get up and stand upright, Shake the dust of negative experiences off your clothes and move forward, fully aware that: You are the Maker and Owner of your Destiny.
So, why allow yourself to be ruled by your own creature and property?
Why keep worshipping a God you make with your own hands?
Focus on positive thoughts but also make sure you "neutralize" all negative thoughts!
A.M.Sall - author, coach, success mindset strategist
A 30+year experience - translator, teacher, traveler, musician, writer, plus crosscultural awareness, worldwide ancient spiritual traditions... Success Mindset Philosopher A.M.Sall helps you "be whatever you want to be and get whatever you want to get." http://www.health-beauty-wellness.com/negative.htm
maide service in Park Ridge .."When I think back on all the crap I learned... Read More
Pops first set the goal in high school, but when... Read More
How many times have people asked you what you really... Read More
In my private practice for the past 13+ years I... Read More
If you want to be successful in life, business, or... Read More
Thoughts move faster than the speed of light.Expectations jump faster... Read More
A couple days ago I was listening to a CD... Read More
A More Effective WayI own a stack of self improvement... Read More
Are you on the right track?Stop for a while, look... Read More
Do you still keep that all important 'Inner Spark Alive'?... Read More
Have you ever had this feeling? You're standing in front... Read More
An unexamined life is not worth living ? SocratesAll too... Read More
Picture this scene: Little Johnny's mother places a large piece... Read More
Too often we wait for the 'right time' or 'the... Read More
You must play by the rules. Everything has rules. You... Read More
I can tell, with 95% accuracy, if you are going... Read More
I've been coaching for a few years now, and the... Read More
Visualize success, and what you'll do to reward yourself A... Read More
I started taking stock of my year in 2002. I... Read More
Life is not a competition.Not at all. Life itself is... Read More
Our lives and the circumstances we live in are largely... Read More
Think back to a time in your life when you... Read More
What if I told you that you could be more... Read More
If you're so smart, why ain't you rich?Becoming a millionaire... Read More
FOCUSAs you're building your business, you can choose to win... Read More
after renovation cleaning Highland Park ..You will have the greatest success if you read the... Read More
Everyone wants success.Some people spend their every waking moment pursuing... Read More
Have a "Pitch Party" Invite friends and work together to... Read More
Asking questions is one of the most basic ways that... Read More
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between a... Read More
Feeling overworked and underpaid? If you're starting to feel like... Read More
"Don't get caught up in the how of things. If... Read More
The Great Library of Alexandria once held the wisdom of... Read More
The entrepreneur game is filled with an amazing variety of... Read More
You must understand You are already a Success, and before... Read More
What does a sharp saw have to do with lifelong... Read More
Since December 1st 2004, I have written one article or... Read More
Here are seven essential keys to success. Use these ideas... Read More
Driven by cultural imperatives and inner promptings, we drive ourselves... Read More
Friendly competition Get together with a group of like-minded friends... Read More
Much has been researched, written and taught about success. One... Read More
Management by Objectives, strategic planning, quality, teams, re-engineering. Passing management... Read More
I've long been a student of those who have achieved... Read More
Understand and apply this one secret to your own life,... Read More
Human beings are visual creatures. Our imaginations are powerful tools... Read More
Along with time and money, energy is one of your... Read More
Whenever I ask people this question, "what do you really... Read More
Fighter pilots have an awesome responsibility. It takes a unique... Read More
Circus trainers used to tie a chain around a baby... Read More
I was hired to do some training for a sales... Read More
Success |