Q. So many times in my life, I seem to hold myself back from what I want to do. I make great plans and have great intentions, but then end up holding myself back in some way. Do you have any suggestions for changing this?
A. When you were a kid, did you ever do something wrong and get put on restrictions? You know, no TV, stay in your room, can't play with friends, for what seemed like an eternity?
What would it be like if we were still on the same restrictions from when we were kids?
It would seem kind of silly, would it not?
And yet we tend to keep ourselves "on restriction" in so many areas of our lives.
These restrictions tend to fall into certain categories. See if any of these fit for you.
1) I can't:
Ask for what I want.
Be successful.
Get the right job.
Stand up for myself.
2) I shouldn't:
Go for what I want.
Act selfish.
Say no.
Think for myself.
3) I'm only:
Good at one thing.
A young person.
An old person.
4) I don't have:
The right genes.
The right connections.
5) I have:
Too much against me.
A bad attitude.
6) They said:
I couldn't do it.
I wouldn't make it.
7) I'm too:
Young, old, fat, thin.
If you recognized yourself in any of these restrictions, don't despair. Look at it this way. When we were kids, parents could put us on restrictions and take us off. But now we are adults. We can take ourselves off restrictions.
How? There are three steps.
1. Question the restriction. Here are some questions to ask:
Does this make sense?
Does this fit in my life?
Does it help me meet my goals?
Does it help me to feel and act the way I want?
If you can't get a yes to any of these questions, it's time to discard the restriction as no longer useful in your life.
2. Make fun of the restriction.
Have you ever gently teased yourself about something in your life? I don't mean in a negative or mean sense. You need to be able to laugh at your own self-imposed limitations.
3. Replace it with an ability.
Here's a general rule about changing restrictions: Never remove a restriction without replacing it with a belief that strengthens you.
Take, for example, one of the statements above: "I can't ask for what I want." After you have questioned and laughed at the restriction, simply replace it with "I can ask for anything I want, I just need to learn how."
See the difference?
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
scheduled maid service Northbrook ..According to the Australian Council of Trade Unions' (A.C.T.U.) 1997... Read More
According to the StressPulse survey by ComPsych Corporation completed at... Read More
Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great... Read More
Stressed? Relax Right Now with 5 Super-Simple Stress-BustersStressed-out? Don't know... Read More
Q. So many times in my life, I seem to... Read More
Traffic jams. Toddler tantrums. Deadlines at work. Money troubles. Too... Read More
Marshal John Kruger acted by Arnold Schwarzenegger (who else) in... Read More
Q. I wonder if you could help me with a... Read More
At what age does the benefit of play cease? Child... Read More
Stress is normal. Stress is OK. Stress is the same... Read More
Work stress has become a major problem today. The nature... Read More
Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and... Read More
Stress and anxiety can prematurely age our mind and body.... Read More
My first real job (schedule, time clock, paycheck, boss) was... Read More
I just got through reading some troubling news in the... Read More
I recently received this e-mail message about stress management (author... Read More
Have you ever said the words, "This job/my life is... Read More
A stressless lifestyle? That's very easy to say. Yet it... Read More
Feeling stressed out lately? Don't worry, there is a simple... Read More
Make stress less of an issue for you in your... Read More
Get at least 15 minutes of sunshine daily.Daily Exercise -... Read More
"Do you want to be a lump of coal or... Read More
In the body, the stress response is mediated by the... Read More
Top Ten Ways to Reduce Your Stress at Home1. Create... Read More
The World Health Organization calls stress "the health epidemic of... Read More
reliable maid service Highland Park ..Stress ReliefStress is a big business in Western society. We... Read More
If you live in the early part of the twenty-first... Read More
There are two types of anxiety:*Situational *Existential.Most of us experience... Read More
"Let your mind be quiet, realizing the beauty of the... Read More
* The material presented in this article is provided for... Read More
All people experience stress and anxiety in one form or... Read More
Everyone needs successful stress management techniques. Easy to learn and... Read More
Imagine going through your whole life in the constant fear... Read More
Did you know that taking a short trip, such as... Read More
The fall season signals a shift in most people's minds.... Read More
One question that is not asked enough by people under... Read More
What is the greatest fear of man? Is it death?... Read More
Preparing for sleep the night before is the place to... Read More
Whenever we think of 'stress', negative thoughts come into our... Read More
Most of us are trying to balance work, home, and... Read More
Marshal John Kruger acted by Arnold Schwarzenegger (who else) in... Read More
It's summertime and chances are you can remember a summer... Read More
A while back, I was in a minor fender-bender accident,... Read More
Whether we are at work, traveling, or at home, we've... Read More
Recently I completed some new workshop engagements in addition to... Read More
Work related tensions, personal issues and abnormal lifestyles are the... Read More
Q. I've been told that I need to learn from... Read More
ExcusesWe all have them. It amazes me how creative I... Read More
Caring for a chronically ill loved one can be one... Read More
File this one under the category of "watch your language."The... Read More
Stress Management |