Q. So many times in my life, I seem to hold myself back from what I want to do. I make great plans and have great intentions, but then end up holding myself back in some way. Do you have any suggestions for changing this?
A. When you were a kid, did you ever do something wrong and get put on restrictions? You know, no TV, stay in your room, can't play with friends, for what seemed like an eternity?
What would it be like if we were still on the same restrictions from when we were kids?
It would seem kind of silly, would it not?
And yet we tend to keep ourselves "on restriction" in so many areas of our lives.
These restrictions tend to fall into certain categories. See if any of these fit for you.
1) I can't:
Ask for what I want.
Be successful.
Get the right job.
Stand up for myself.
2) I shouldn't:
Go for what I want.
Act selfish.
Say no.
Think for myself.
3) I'm only:
Good at one thing.
A young person.
An old person.
4) I don't have:
The right genes.
The right connections.
5) I have:
Too much against me.
A bad attitude.
6) They said:
I couldn't do it.
I wouldn't make it.
7) I'm too:
Young, old, fat, thin.
If you recognized yourself in any of these restrictions, don't despair. Look at it this way. When we were kids, parents could put us on restrictions and take us off. But now we are adults. We can take ourselves off restrictions.
How? There are three steps.
1. Question the restriction. Here are some questions to ask:
Does this make sense?
Does this fit in my life?
Does it help me meet my goals?
Does it help me to feel and act the way I want?
If you can't get a yes to any of these questions, it's time to discard the restriction as no longer useful in your life.
2. Make fun of the restriction.
Have you ever gently teased yourself about something in your life? I don't mean in a negative or mean sense. You need to be able to laugh at your own self-imposed limitations.
3. Replace it with an ability.
Here's a general rule about changing restrictions: Never remove a restriction without replacing it with a belief that strengthens you.
Take, for example, one of the statements above: "I can't ask for what I want." After you have questioned and laughed at the restriction, simply replace it with "I can ask for anything I want, I just need to learn how."
See the difference?
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
eco-friendly cleaning service Bannockburn .."Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into... Read More
In our article about Exercise & Stress, we looked at... Read More
The Mask of "I've Got It All Together"It's so easy... Read More
If you find symptoms of anxiety disorder in any of... Read More
* Play Romane's stress control seminar recordings, and read "The... Read More
This anger management Practice draws on the dual wisdom of... Read More
It is very true that, unfortunately, many people look to... Read More
Is your stress level higher than it should be? Are... Read More
Of all the forms of stress in today's world, computer... Read More
David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."And... Read More
We all know what it feels like to have our... Read More
For those of you who have been living in a... Read More
According to the StressPulse survey by ComPsych Corporation completed at... Read More
Have you ever said the words, "This job/my life is... Read More
Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a... Read More
Don't let stress wear you down. Next time you are... Read More
Why is it that some people become totally stressed when... Read More
Modern stress is habitual, and is something that the vast... Read More
Ask a hundred different people how to deal with stress... Read More
This is a tool to measure the amount of stress... Read More
In his book, The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness, author... Read More
Insomnia is usually the result of the modern way of... Read More
"We do not stop playing because we grow old. We... Read More
Training Your Mind For Better Business and LeisureModern life moves... Read More
A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a... Read More
cleaning lady near Lincolnshire ..Everybody deals with fear and anxiety, however some people have... Read More
Looking for some quick stress relief?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker,... Read More
In these times when companies are constantly down-sizing and right-sizing... Read More
Over the years I've collected scores of comics and cartoons... Read More
Stress is often seen as being unhealthy, but for some... Read More
Meditation seems to have arrived in the mainstream of late,... Read More
In our article about Exercise & Stress, we looked at... Read More
I just got through reading some troubling news in the... Read More
Think back a few years to the nine coal miners... Read More
As we celebrate yet another Labor Day, I thought it... Read More
Work stress has become a major problem today. The nature... Read More
Why are you so busy? Do you really have too... Read More
A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a... Read More
If you have never tried combining your breathing exercises with... Read More
ExcusesWe all have them. It amazes me how creative I... Read More
1. Acknowledge that requesting support, guidance and partnership is not... Read More
If you're like most people, you have your bouts of... Read More
We are currently living in a capitalist society where money... Read More
"When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe,... Read More
It has long been suggested that "music soothes the savage... Read More
We've all been there, right? We find ourselves living with... Read More
Let's face it! The majority of our time is either... Read More
* The material presented in this article is provided for... Read More
One of the ways I have avoided a lot of... Read More
It's no secret that we women, by virtue of our... Read More
Stress Management |