Q: Someone told me that the Chinese symbol for crisis means danger and opportunity. I just lost my job, and I see nothing but bad stuff in this. Where is the opportunity?
A: When you are hit with a life crisis such as losing a job, it's easy to focus on only the dangers and bad things.
Here are five questions to ask yourself when life hands you something you don't want or like. They are designed to get you through the crisis and to help you manage your thoughts and emotions as well.
1. In how many ways can I make this work for me?
The language of this question is important because it contains what is called a presupposition. I think that the first people to really understand the human brain and emotions were not psychologists, but those in advertising and sales.
For example, when you are shopping for a new car a good salesperson will ask "Do you want to buy the red car or the blue car?" The presupposition is that you will buy one of them.
Our question presupposes that there is a way to make this work for you, and it also assumes there are several ways to do this. It may take a great deal of creativity, but creativity is simply the ability to look at something that has always been there and see something that has not been seen before.
2. What's good about this? What does this allow me to do that I might not have done before?
One of the many results of losing a job is you suddenly have a lot of time on your hands. While this can be scary, it also can work to your advantage. Are there projects around the house you can now complete? Are there members of your family with whom you can spend more time?
One of the best uses of this time can be to step back and consider what it is you really want to do in life. If you have been doing something that is not your passion, losing your job could be your ticket to living and working out your passion.
3. What would you love to do?
If there is not a job like that around, how could you create one in a way that would add value to the lives of others? The happiest people I know are those who are doing what they love for a living.
4. What does this force me to do that I might not have done before?
When our backs are up against the wall, we sometimes have to face issues we have been avoiding. Do you need to improve your job skills? Go back to school? Sometimes being out of work can expose financial areas of your life that have not been taken care of. Once you are working again, do you need to get out of debt, take care of retirement, or something else?
5. How many ways can I make this work for me?
I know I asked that question once already. But questions 2 through 4 prepare you to better answer the question the second time around. See what other useful answers you can come up with at this point.
It comes down to a sometimes difficult choice: Am I going to focus on all the ugliness of what has happened, or am I going to focus on how to come out of this better, stronger and wiser than when I went in?
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
maide service in Lincolnshire ..Comedian George Carlin once remarked, "Have your ever noticed? Anyone... Read More
Did you know that more than half of our adult... Read More
Have you been feeling so stressful and almost losing your... Read More
As Montaigne said, "he who fears he will suffer, already... Read More
Why is it that some people become totally stressed when... Read More
The National Center for health statistics reported that in 1997,... Read More
Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a... Read More
It's summertime and chances are you can remember a summer... Read More
?And holding it way down inside you like an old... Read More
My first real job (schedule, time clock, paycheck, boss) was... Read More
Everyone experiences stress at some point in their life. In... Read More
What do you do when you wake up in the... Read More
Have you ever noticed what occurs when you are suddenly... Read More
Everyday can be full of stress but we all deserve... Read More
Q: "My career, though very very stressful, is one that... Read More
Imagine going through your whole life in the constant fear... Read More
If you have never tried combining your breathing exercises with... Read More
Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great... Read More
Success in recovery, or rather, staying in recovery, is dependent... Read More
To combat modern day stressors, you need to realize that... Read More
All stress comes from believing a thought that argues with... Read More
"I'm stressed out."If you find yourself thinking--or saying--this on a... Read More
The pace of life seems to quicken every year. More... Read More
Living in our world today can be very stressful. While... Read More
I was a psychotherapist for... Read More
cleaning lady near Deerfield ..Stress Vs PressureStress is something we all have, it's not... Read More
What is the greatest fear of man? Is it death?... Read More
First, let's make a distinction between pressure and stress. We... Read More
If you suffer from insomnia of any kind, the chances... Read More
"When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe,... Read More
The predominant role human conditioning plays in a stressful environment.... Read More
Deceiving? You bet they are. How? Without your even knowing... Read More
If you have never tried combining your breathing exercises with... Read More
What do you do when you wake up in the... Read More
"We do not stop playing because we grow old. We... Read More
Q:We recently had someone come to our company to talk... Read More
Insomnia is usually the result of the modern way of... Read More
"One day I'm a mother, One day I'm a lover,... Read More
Learning methods of stress elimination is a vital skill in... Read More
Picture the following scene:It's Sunday evening, the weekend is winding... Read More
I just got through reading some troubling news in the... Read More
Q: What is Stress?A: Very basically it is the physical,... Read More
I learned a valuable lesson recently. A short while ago,... Read More
With how busy we keep ourselves on a day to... Read More
Do you worry all the time?Do the following symptoms bother... Read More
My work often deals with proactive, preventive means to Overcome... Read More
Workplace stress is on the rise and it's costing corporate... Read More
My first real job (schedule, time clock, paycheck, boss) was... Read More
The right amount of stress can be good for you,... Read More
Work stress has become a major problem today. The nature... Read More
Stress Management |