Hannah was distressed that, with all the inner work she had done on herself, she still found herself binge eating.
"There are times when I just can't stop eating. I feel awful after, but at the time I just want another cookie and another until they are all gone. Or I'll intend to take a few bites of ice cream out of the carton and find myself unable to stop until the whole carton is gone. I just don't get why I'm still doing this! And it seems worse since I married Roger, even though I really love him. I just can't figure this out!"
I asked Hannah to tune into the addicted part of her and allow that part to speak about why she needs to fill up with food.
"Well, sometimes I just feel so empty and alone inside. I just can't stand it. The food makes me feel so much better. I don't feel so lonely when I'm eating and filled up. But I don't get why I feel this way. I'm not alone. I have Roger and he loves me."
"It sounds like you want to eat when you feel alone inside, when your Inner Child - which is your feeling self - feels alone and abandoned inside."
"Yes," answered Hannah. "That's exactly what I feel, but I have no idea how to fill that emptiness and aloneness without food. And why do I feel alone inside when I'm not alone outside?"
The problem is that most people think that the empty alone feeling is caused by something outside themselves - such as not having a partner, feeling rejected by someone, being unhappy at a job or not having enough money. Yet that is never what causes inner emptiness and inner aloneness. It is caused by one thing - not taking loving care of yourself, of your feelings, of the child within. And we cannot take loving care of ourselves without having a spiritual source to turn to for love, wisdom, guidance and strength.
A spiritual source can be God, a Higher Power, a guardian angel, an inner mentor or teacher, a beloved relative who has died, or your own Higher Self. We all need a source of guidance to turn to other than other people or our own mind. Our mind is limited to our storehouse of beliefs, many of which are false or no longer supportive of who are now are. Our mind cannot guide us in what is truly loving to ourselves. It cannot advise us in what actions support our highest good. So unless we have a source of wisdom to turn to, we may not know what to do to take loving care of ourselves.
We will not even open to this Source until our deep desire is to take loving care of ourselves. As long as we believe it is someone else's job to fill us up, or that we will get filled up from work, money, food and so on, we will not take the loving action we need to take in our own behalf to take care of our Inner Child and fill ourselves with love.
The first thing I did with Hannah was to help her create, in her imagination, a spiritual source for her to turn to. When I asked her to do this, she immediately imagined her grandfather whom she had dearly loved as a child and who had died when she was five. She said she had often felt her grandfather around her, but had never thought to turn to him for help. Now, as she imagined him holding her and loving her, she began to cry with the joy of feeling his love for her.
"Hannah, while he is holding you, imagine the child part of you that wants to overeat. Imagine that you are holding her while your grandfather is holding you. Ask her how you are treating her that causes her to feel so empty and alone."
Little Hannah: "The thing you ALWAYS do that I just hate is you just go along with everything that Roger wants. What he wants and needs and feels is always more important to you than I am. You don't speak up for me. Every since we got married, it's like Roger is supposed to make me happy instead of you making me happy. I need you to make me happy by taking care of me instead of taking care of Roger so that Roger will love us. I need you to love me." (This did not come out all at once - this is a summary of what the Inner Child eventually said to adult Hannah).
As Hannah learned to turn to her grandfather for love and guidance and started to take care of herself instead of giving herself up to Roger, her binge eating gradually diminished.
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or http://www.innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
Culver prom limo ..Are you wondering why you're not losing weight? If you're... Read More
Today I stopped by my favorite coffee shop in Berkeley,... Read More
Are you often overcome with an urge to splurge on... Read More
The goal of many athletes and exercisers is to "get... Read More
There's a dirty little secret in the diet industry. The... Read More
When it comes to weight loss, most of us would... Read More
Protein is an essential nutrient necessary for maintaining good health.... Read More
Getting Started on The Clean DietIf you want to lose... Read More
Over the past 5 years, online weight loss programs have... Read More
I personally lost 60 pounds in 2003. Here are some... Read More
I can't do that Until I Lose This Weight! If... Read More
First? establish realistic goals. Start with a target you can... Read More
The incidences of deseases like obesity, diabetes, colon deseases etc.are... Read More
Among the most popular forms of dieting is the South... Read More
"Hey, you have reduced now, compared to the last time... Read More
Just about every one of us struggles with our weight... Read More
Dumping syndrome is an effective result of the gastric bypass... Read More
In March 2003 our then 13 year old daughter, Helen,... Read More
Some of my dieting tips are not conventional. You can... Read More
Building a Perfect Body for Body Perfect Fitness and Health... Read More
The answer to the title of this article is "none."... Read More
Oh, no . . . You suddenly realize that you... Read More
To understand how surgical procedures aid the grossly overweight person... Read More
You won't believe what happened to me today!I was getting... Read More
With summer completed and school back in session, it'll be... Read More
Wood Dale limo ..All of our behavior results from the thoughts that preceded... Read More
Of all the possible exercises there are to help you... Read More
Here's a letter from my email:Dear Carol,I took your teleclass... Read More
Weight Loss ? Basic Lessons for Sustained SuccessWeight loss is... Read More
All of the things we tell sick people so that... Read More
Many gastric bypass patients report frequent spells of dizziness. In... Read More
I was shocked. I started to cry...After the holidays, I... Read More
I know, I know. What a crazy question!Considering that we've... Read More
When we discover that we are heavier than we want... Read More
Your brain has this really interesting system that is kind... Read More
When women talk about their biggest obstacles to successful weight... Read More
Everywhere we look in the western world we are inundated... Read More
You have noticed your obese friend suddenly slimmer. You want... Read More
Are you concerned about the lack of exercise your child... Read More
The revolution is here. Weight Loss as we know it... Read More
Its crowded..really crowded..every other site offers Weight Loss Programs and... Read More
Fighting obesity has become one of the most important issues... Read More
The answer to the title of this article is "none."... Read More
You are ready to shed those energy draining, body crippling,... Read More
I have put off writing a motivation article because of... Read More
Are you dieting your way to bone loss?Are you aware... Read More
*Do you truly believe that not eating or cutting back... Read More
Drink plenty of water. Our body needs a lot of... Read More
1. Drink plenty of water. Our body needs a lot... Read More
No matter what the reason, successful weight loss and healthy... Read More
Weight Loss |