Every day, it seems like we are living in an increasingly liquid world. I'm not preaching against the evils of alcohol or for a new era of prohibition that will save us from sin and politicians. After all, water is also a liquid, and it rarely inflicts us with either sin or politicians.
But we do expect everything to be excruciatingly easy these days, so liquid is the operating system of choice.
No time to eat? Grab a liquid breakfast and run. Why tie a knot in the umbilical chord connecting your bed to your desk? If you can find a long enough straw, just start slurping as you rise from bed, and smack your lips to the last drop as you whiz out the front door. Bye.
Remember when soap came in bars? Solid bars? Sorry, I guess I'm showing my age. Now everybody uses liquid soap. Yesterday I reached for the soap. No, wait. I reached for the hand cream. Or was it the soap? But what if it is the hand cream? Soap or hand cream? Which is which?
People used to nail siding onto the exterior of their homes. Now they just spray on "liquid siding". It comes in three tasty flavors: siding, ceramic and stucco. Yum.
And now they've taken my little vitamin supplement pills and liquefied them, too.
"Hold on just a minute. How do you know they liquefied the vitamin pills?"
Who said that?
"Are vitamins naturally solid? Or are they naturally liquid?"
Uh. I had to admit that I probably would not recognize a vitamin if I bumped into it in the street ... in which case I have a hunch it might be too big to swallow. Say, who is this?
"Where do you think vitamins come from, anyway?"
I always assumed they came from the back of the corner store in a small town in Indiana, but upon reflection, I suspect they might come from oranges and fish and milk. Who are you?
"Don't you think it's pretty hard to stuff a fish into a hard, little pill?"
I suppose The Voice has a point.
"You drink milk, don't you?"
Yeah, but that's because it's liquid. Suddenly I recalled my dream from just last week. Cow after cow heading into a factory on a conveyor belt. At first I though it was the Annual Bovine Family Reunion, but on the other side of the factory, riding the same conveyor belt, were neatly sealed cartons of milk. Aaargh!
"Squeezed. Like an orange. You drink juice, don't you?"
Yeah...but squeezing a cow?
"Just what do you know about liquid?"
I thought real hard. Everything comes in one of three states: gas, liquid and solid. Gas is like the politicians when they are talking. Liquid is like the politicians when they are hard at work attending cocktail receptions. Solid is like statues of politicians.
Everything comes in either gas, liquid or solid. That is about all I could remember of my high school chemistry. That, and how to explode a partially dissected frog. No, wait. That wasn't chemistry class. Silly me. Why would we have a partially dissected frog in chemistry class. That was that other class. What was it called, again? Oh yes, "home economics".
"Did the frog contain vitamins?"
Not any more.
"Do you think it's easier to pack vitamins into a tiny, hard pill or into a drink?"
I suppose it all depends on what kind of explosive you use. I tried to imagine squeezing a fish into a carton. But fish walking up a conveyor belt seemed just a bit radical ... and even less tasty than freshly squeezed cow.
"Liquid vitamin supplements are made only from plant ingredients."
That's it. Keep your cow. Keep your fish. Keep your frog...what's left of it. I'm going to for a pure liquid life.
About The Author
David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html
Read more humor articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html
Get your liquid vitamins: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html
http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html
Airbnb cleaning service Arlington Heights ..It's absolutely crucial that your body gets the nutrients it... Read More
Vitamin B6 is the hardest working nutrient in the human... Read More
OK, first let's get something straight here...If you think that... Read More
In part one of this series, titled "Take Back Your... Read More
Minerals are essential to maintain our bodies in top condition... Read More
You Need Probiotics For Better Digestion and Overall HealthInside your... Read More
A naturally occurring compound, L-Glutathione (Tathion,) has demonstrated that it... Read More
Whey protein is a high quality powder made from cow's... Read More
Rhodiola rosea is available commercially as a supplement and rhodiola... Read More
Not All Supplements are Created Equal. There are more supplements... Read More
Over the last 2 years, the link between weight gain... Read More
Supplement is a word defined by Webster as such: Something... Read More
Since its discovery in the late 1950???s Coenzyme Q10 (CoQ10)... Read More
Vitamins seem to be so good for everything. The newly... Read More
Did you know that vitamin B-1 has two other widely... Read More
A 2003 study by the Health Sciences Department of the... Read More
It is well known and scientifically proven that vitamins and... Read More
Unfortunately nobody can tell that question over the internet, but... Read More
If you're constantly digging your hand into a jar of... Read More
Most parents' think their children are eating a fairly healthy... Read More
You read about a supplement that allegedly "Boosts your mood... Read More
GlutImmune? is a very convenient high absorption source of glutamine.... Read More
Coral Calcium is an excellent source of readily accessible and... Read More
Part 1:A "better nutritional program" means the introduction of foods... Read More
We live in a health conscious generation where vitamins and... Read More
reliable maid service Winnetka .."But I eat healthy," you might say. That may be... Read More
Numerous studies and surveys have consistently shown that a majority... Read More
Since Dr Basant Puri, a consultant psychiatrist and senior lecturer... Read More
Vitamins, minerals and other nutrients are essential to the health... Read More
Don't be overwhelmed by this big word, ... Read More
The real benefits of Vitamin E may surprise you. First... Read More
If you suffer from arthritis pain, chances are you've heard... Read More
Minerals are essential to maintain our bodies in top condition... Read More
Nutritional Supplement ? what is it?So what is a nutritional... Read More
It would seem that everyone is looking to squeeze the... Read More
Our bodies change as we age, and to remain vigorous,... Read More
Most people are becoming more health conscious. Many of the... Read More
Fish oil is oil derived from the tissues of fatty... Read More
For people who suffer from arthritis, dependable pain relief is... Read More
There is a generation called the baby boomers that make... Read More
If I read 1 good valid murder mystery book, would... Read More
If you're smart, you should not only be focused on... Read More
It's green, it's valuable, and it can vastly improve your... Read More
At times, due to your busy and fast life, we... Read More
Supplement ? what is it?Supplement is a term that means... Read More
What's the best muscle building supplement available today? You might... Read More
For years now we have heard that supplementing our diets... Read More
Amino acid supplements and amino acid food intake can bring... Read More
With all of the exciting things people are seeing in... Read More
How can I improve my health and lifestyle beyond diet... Read More
Nutritional Supplements |