Home
>
Stress Management
>
Stress Secrets: How To Remove Hidden Sources Of Stress

Stress Secrets: How To Remove Hidden Sources Of Stress

Most people find it easy to identify the sources of stress in their lives. Ask Maggie M. about the stress in her life and she says, "I run a full time business and have an active toddler. My husband's job keeps him working 10 hours days, so I do most of the errands. I know exactly where stress comes from!" But many people find that even in times of great happiness, they find themselves feeling anxious, depressed or flat-out stressed. One possible cause of these feelings is invisible stressors, for example:

1) Marriage: Being a newlywed is supposed to the culmination of a dream. Women, especially, are often raised to think that marriage is the fulfillment of womanhood. But it's a huge change for men and women alike. Even if you shared living quarters before marriage, the event can give rise to new expectations and pressures from family, friends and work.

2) Travel. Many people schedule travel vacations as a reward for hard work. Beautiful beaches, a week away from the in-box, the out-box, and the phone, endless entertainments for kids. Unfortunately, even the best laid vacation plans can go awry: delayed flights, flat tires, or a sick child can snag even the most seamless vacation plans. And travel advertisement may not be realistic: the beach may be crowded, the best restaurant closed for repairs, the slopes snow-free. Maybe a hidden hope of romance didn't come true, or the antiques shopping turned out to be more expensive or less interesting than you expected.

3) Holidays. While the movie "Home for the holidays" plays on the humor of holiday stress, in real-life the stress takes place real-time. You may be meeting new people or parents who still treat you as if you're a teenager. We may expect gifts, family behavior, or meals that don't meet those expectations. And for many people, holidays bring up painful memories of people now gone, happier times gone by, or past dashed hopes.

4) Promotions. We often view promotion as a reward for hard labor or special ability, with a more prestigious title or increased paycheck. But promotions can shake up your self-image; you may ask if you're really up to the new tasks, deserving of the raise, or capable of handling the new people you'll be working with. Even the increased paycheck can bring up questions at home about how the extra money should be spent (or not spent) and how it will impact the lives of your children or parents.

5) Retirement or children leaving home. You may be thinking: "Ah, now I have time for myself." No more fussing and feuding about the job, the boss, the child's fluctuating grades or more dubious friends. But these milestones also involve a redefining of the self: who am I now that I'm not "a carpenter," "a manager," or "Dad"?

What's The Common Factor

The first key to finding hidden stressors is to look for changes. Any big change, even a positive one, is a change, and change - in our evolutionary pasts - were equated with danger. Our bodies go through a series of hormonal and neuronal changes to deal with potential danger, and we feel stressed until we've learned to accommodate a new situation.

The second key to finding hidden stressors is to look for situations where one's expectations don't match reality. This is the situation when vacations don't go as planned or we discover that our new spouse, wonderful though he is, owns three versions of a video golf game.

How To Manage Hidden Stress

So, how can we mitigate some of these stresses? First, understand that they are stresses. Give yourself the mental space to accommodate these changes; understand that it will take some time to adapt to these changes. Second, recognize what your expectations are about a big change - what are your hopes for your retirement? your pregnancy? Then garner information: talk with friends who've been to your chosen vacation spot, meet with other expectant fathers, talk with your favorite siblings about what worked about the last family holidays and didn't.

Plan for the problems that may arrive, but also make sure your plan has space and time in it for the problems you couldn't predict: don't plan the first event for an hour after you arrive in Orlando, schedule an activity for your weekend guests that will leave you an hour and an empty house to relax in. Make sure there's some dreamtime scheduled into your first few weeks of retirement and some time for spontaneous changes that can be the best part of any new event. While you can't plan for every event, you can give yourself the space to accommodate the unplannable and enjoy the new part of your life.

McConnell EA, "Myths & facts ... about stress." Nursing, Volume 30, issue 8, p. 82, 2000

Jones PS, "Adaptability: a personal resource for health," Scholarly Inquiry for Nursing Practice, Volume 5, issue 2, p. 95-108, 1991

Stokes SA, Gordon SE., " Common stressors experienced by the well elderly, clinical implications," Journal of Gerontological Nursing, Volume 29, issue 5, p 38-46, 2003

Learn more about health, diet and exercise at our weight loss forum.

PhenForum.com is a popular discussion forum for weight loss programs, weight loss advice, and tips to help you weight loss.

All the best,

Ian Mason

affordable house cleaning Mundelein ...

In The News:

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

iPhone Duo opens to a 7.6-inch foldable display starting at $1,999, but Siri Recap's ambient listening on Apple Watch may spark privacy concerns.

Homeowners association meeting minutes and membership lists can expose names, addresses and emails that scammers use to craft convincing phishing scams.

Lima, Ohio, has installed 3,120 floating solar panels on its Twin Lakes Reservoir, projecting nearly $10 million in electricity cost savings.

Amazon's Alexa for Shopping now lets customers verify suspicious emails, texts and phone calls against the company's own communication records.

Lindsey Brooke Isaacs spent 13 days in jail after a Flock camera flagged her Dodge Durango near a fatal Florida crash that killed three people.

AI-powered smart grocery carts are linked to 32% higher spending, according to new research, as Instacart Caper Carts expand across U.S. stores.

A VPN encrypts your connection on hotel, airport and café Wi-Fi abroad, but streaming catalogs and live sports access still depend on provider rules.

Gmail's Verified Sender Program launches September 8, 2026, giving U.S. political committees a more reliable path to your personal email inbox.

Elroy Air's Chaparral can carry over 500 pounds and fly 450 miles without a runway, and the FAA just tested it under a new federal program.

Bedrock Robotics says its autonomous excavators are doing paid earthwork on active job sites in Texas and Nevada with no operator in the cab.

A dedicated banking computer isolates your financial accounts from malware and phishing, but passwords, SIM swapping and outdated software remain risks.

The OlloNi SS1 AI robot pet uses a 4K camera and facial recognition to learn your family, but its removable Red Heart memory module raises questions.

Nine identity theft warning signs range from unfamiliar credit inquiries to SIM swap attacks that can quietly drain your bank account funds.

Robot.com's R-dog uses articulated legs and wheels to climb stairs and deliver packages, while its built-in screens display paid ads along the route.

MyChart phishing emails mimic real patient portal alerts with fake lab results and malware tricks that target Windows users across the country.

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Google's Motion Assist places animated dots on Pixel screens to combat motion sickness in vehicles, but the Android 17 rollout remains limited.

Moving to a 55+ community can quickly expose your data to scammers and data brokers before you even unpack, putting your whole family at risk.

Amazon Prime Air drone delivery plans to reach nearly 500 U.S. cities by the end of 2026, but your yard and ZIP code may determine eligibility.

The FBI reports nearly $21 billion in cybercrime losses for 2025, up 26%, as AI scams make fake voices and identities more convincing than ever.

Uber teen accounts now feature live video streaming from the driver's camera, but encrypted recordings stay on Uber's servers for up to 14 days.

Router firewalls and software firewalls serve different roles in protecting your home Wi-Fi from unwanted traffic and suspicious connections.

A Chrome extension with 70,000 users and a 4.7-star rating began injecting fake update warnings after a threat actor acquired and weaponized it.

Amazon's Alexa+ rolls out free to Fire TV devices across the U.S., but hands-free microphones and stored voice data raise key privacy questions.

Stress Secrets: How To Remove Hidden Sources Of Stress

Stress Management