Home
>
Stress Management
>
Stress Management: The Power of Expectancy

Stress Management: The Power of Expectancy

On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water skiing with some new friends. I hadn't skied in a while, and as I floated in the water with long pieces of wood strapped to my feet, here's what I remember thinking:

"I wonder if I remember how to do this." "Will I be able to get up?" "How soon will I crash?"

The rope tightened and I got up like I'd been doing this for years, began to ski and sure enough, the next thing I knew - crash - face full of lake.

Here comes the point of the story - As I floated in the water, waiting for the boat and the rope to come back around, I realized that the only reason I had crashed was because I had expected to crash.

The Power of Expectancy

The power of expectancy shapes our lives. I've found that most of us have either a negative expectancy (things won't work out) or a positive expectancy (things usually work out). There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.

Expectancy controls what we focus on, and what we focus on usually comes about.

Eeyore Expectancy

I call people that always focus on the negative "Eeyores." For those of you who do not have kids or don't remember the story, Eeyore is a donkey in the Winnie the Pooh story that mopes around, head hung to the ground, moaning and groaning about life.

The Language

"It's just too good to be true"

"I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop" There are times when we are so sure that the other shoe is going to drop that we throw it down ourselves.

"If something bad can happen, it will, and it will happen to me."

The Outcome

The outcome of "eeyore expectancy" is usually fairly lousy. Even if good stuff does happen, it's easy to miss with your eyes dragging the ground. You get what you focus on.

Positive Expectancy

Here's what positive expectancy is not:

burying your head in the sand and saying "everything will be all right."

a glorified form of denial

a new term for "positive thinking"

I don't believe in "positive thinking", at least not in the way it's commonly portrayed. Example: while it's pouring rain, walking through the rain saying "It's not raining, it's not raining, it's not raining," will get you soaked!

Positive expectancy IS an attitude. It's an attitude that goes something like, "whatever happens, not only will we figure out a way to handle it, we'll also find a way to make it work for us."

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

post construction cleaning Wilmette ...

In The News:

Your VPN may quietly drop protection when switching between airport Wi-Fi and hotel Wi-Fi. Key settings like auto-connect and kill switch help.

A South Carolina caregiver allegedly gained power of attorney over a 75-year-old with Parkinson's, then transferred his home via quitclaim deed for $5.

Joby Aviation flew its eVTOL air taxi into DFW Airport's busy airspace as Texas launches Project Nexus, a three-year advanced air mobility program.

Federal prosecutors say criminals bought sponsored search ads mimicking real banks, capturing over 5,000 login credentials and draining accounts.

The Mercedes-Benz eActros 600 electric truck targets 621 miles per charge on a 28,000-mile round-the-world journey through over 30 countries.

A viral video shows roughly a dozen Coco Robotics delivery robots swarming a Chicago sidewalk near Lincoln Park, raising wheelchair access concerns.

NewTree Social founder Maddy O'Connor built a community events app to help people discover local gatherings, wellness events and run clubs nearby.

DoppelCart's 119,000 fake shopping domains steal credit card details at checkout, mimicking over 44,000 real brands with convincing cloned sites.

Hurricane charity scams use data brokers and people search sites to target victims before storms even hit, exploiting personal information..

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Autonomous race cars hit Laguna Seca and Imola Circuit at speeds topping 157 mph, but the Abu Dhabi Autonomous Racing League faces a fan problem.

A LinkedIn romance scam cost Gaby close to $1 million after a scammer returned her first payment to build trust, then escalated requests over two years.

Safari's Notify Me can monitor websites for price changes and restocks, while new AI photo tools let you reframe and extend shots in iOS 27.

FLHSMV traced the Florida DMV breach to credentials from a Plant City Police Department user, but ShinyHunters claims over 200,000 driver records.

Tesla's Cybercab launched in Austin with no steering wheel or pedals, but hidden details about age limits and missing safety features may shock riders.

Moderna and Merck's Phase 3 melanoma vaccine trial showed positive results, but full data and FDA approval are still pending for the mRNA therapy.

Malwarebytes data reveals scam texts peak around noon ET with 874% higher volume than overnight, and Fridays bring roughly 50% more messages.

Over 5,400 legitimate websites now serve fake CAPTCHA scams that trick users into pasting malware commands into Windows Run via ClickFix attacks.

Tuya Smart's Doova AI home robot rolls to seniors who call for help and connects family via live video, but key privacy questions remain unanswered.

Jevon Martinez livestreamed himself removing 10 Flock Safety cameras in Bernalillo County, but authorities say eight belonged to neighborhood associations.

A dark web service called Nexus claimed to hold over 153 million driver's license records, and the FBI confirms it is now looking into the incident.

Asking Siri to call American Express connected an 82-year-old woman to a bogus number that nearly drained $100,000 from her Bank of America account.

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

iPhone Duo opens to a 7.6-inch foldable display starting at $1,999, but Siri Recap's ambient listening on Apple Watch may spark privacy concerns.

Homeowners' association meeting minutes and membership lists can expose names, addresses and emails that scammers use to craft convincing phishing scams.