Defending your point of view can use up a lot of your precious energy. As much as 90% of our available energy can be used in this way.
If you do this a lot, stop doing it and see for yourself. You'll probably feel energised, not to mention liberated.
Sometimes it's necessary to 'defend your view'. If someone is trying to persuade you to do something you don't want to do either walk away or say the minimum. Such as "No."
People respect a simple "no", as long as it's said with conviction. Or you can be polite and say "No thanks". Just leave out the "No, but..." as this leaves an opening for the persuader to get back in to try and 'convince' you.
An example is that an ex-partner always wanted me to go skiing. I hated it but he was always trying to persuade me of its merits. This resulted in many tiring arguments where I defended my views on why I disliked it and he defended his views on why he did.
It was exhausting, I felt as if I was in court and had to come up with a good reasons not to ski!
Finally I realised that all it took was a simple, but emphatic "No". He skied, while I enjoyed the apres ski without the ski...bliss!
If you're not defending your right not to do something that you don't want it's even easier. As soon as defending your view stops being pleasant then just stop.
I can remember a huge row that divided a group I met on holiday. It began as a lightheartded chat about a particular movie. It soon became a heated row. The people who liked it thought there must be something wrong with the people who didn't. And vice versa.
I'm not going to say what the movie was, I don't want to start another row! However, I arrived on the beach the next day day to find them all 'fuming' about this ongoing disagreement. They asked if I'd liked the movie. Actually I'd loathed it, but said it just hadn't appealed to me, and I hadn't really thought about why....
I wasn't going to say another thing...I'd learned by too many mistakes.
If they'd asked me in the heat of the row it would have been wise to say I hadn't seen it! After all, whatever they thought or said would not change the fact I hadn't liked it.
That's the crucial point. Nothing anyone said would have changed my experience of that film. People's views are more often changed by experience, rather than persuasion.
It doesn't matter if it's ice-creams, cars, clothes, holidays, that are being discussed.
You know what you like, you know what you don't like. And that's enough. The more we respect the point of view of others the more they respect ours.
Janet trained as a Professional Stress Consultant. She owns the website http://www.womens-natural-health.com which offers lots of free tips for enhancing your health, happiness and beauty.
reliable maid service Winnetka ..."I'm stressed out."If you find yourself thinking--or saying--this on a... Read More
The brain uses feel-good transmitters called endorphins when managing daily... Read More
Looking for mindfulness? Who ya gonna call?Try dialing M.It's easy... Read More
Do you ever feel stressed? Is stress a regular component... Read More
File this one under the category of "watch your language."The... Read More
Q: Someone told me that the Chinese symbol for crisis... Read More
Several studies, including one of medical students around exam time,... Read More
"Let your mind be quiet, realizing the beauty of the... Read More
If you live in the early part of the twenty-first... Read More
1. The Law of EveryoneIt is not neccessarily wrong to... Read More
Learning methods of stress elimination is a vital skill in... Read More
We all have it; we live with it daily: stress.... Read More
My first real job (schedule, time clock, paycheck, boss) was... Read More
Voice: Bill!Bill: I thought I heard a voice.Voice: Bill! This... Read More
It is very true that, unfortunately, many people look to... Read More
Let's face it! The majority of our time is either... Read More
Case #1- Elizabeth, a 40 year old homemaker was always... Read More
Perhaps you've heard of the 80/20 rule, but don't know... Read More
For those who are suffering from stress, just about the... Read More
Stress relief and managementRecognizing stress symptoms can be a positive... Read More
Learn to have healthy relationships:This subject could fill an entire... Read More
Everyone worries. As bothersome as it is, worry isn't all... Read More
I just got through reading some troubling news in the... Read More
In the fast-paced world that we live in today, it... Read More
Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because... Read More
premium house cleaning Des Plaines ...STRESS & TIME MANAGEMENT: Stress is either the source or... Read More
1. The Law of EveryoneIt is not neccessarily wrong to... Read More
1. Take a relaxing bath. Add music, candles and a... Read More
Let's take a look at some of the more serious... Read More
Why Stress Management programmes don't work?It seems that every week... Read More
Everyone knows that stress isn't good - that it can... Read More
If you live in the early part of the twenty-first... Read More
If you have recently lost health insurance coverage through your... Read More
I was a psychotherapist for... Read More
The fast pace of life is taking toll on every... Read More
We all know what it's like coming home from a... Read More
Whenever we think of 'stress', negative thoughts come into our... Read More
1. The Law of GiftsRichard Bach, author of "Illusions" says... Read More
The day wasn't going well already. You know how it... Read More
1. 5-minute rule. How many times do we say, "This... Read More
CHICAGO - According to a recent article in the September... Read More
This is a tool to measure the amount of stress... Read More
There is good stress, and there is bad stress. Good... Read More
I'm sure you have heard of IBS, irritable bowel syndrome,... Read More
This is the time for daydreaming about your annual vacation.... Read More
In the body, the stress response is mediated by the... Read More
To be a safe and predictable person for those around... Read More
1) Create the life you desireTwo of our most underdeveloped... Read More
Have you recently moved or started a new job? Do... Read More
ResentmentsA wise friend once said that holding onto resentments is... Read More
Stress Management |