Why is it that some people become totally stressed when the smallest thing goes wrong while others can cope with extraordinary amounts of pressure with it batting an eye?
There can be many factors at play here. We become more easily stressed when we are tired or unwell. But with all things being equal it is what we think about a situation that will determine whether we are stressed by it or not.
For example, let's look at two people waiting for a phone call from a potential romantic interest and how differently they respond when they do not receive the phone call.
Person A starts to fret and draws many conclusions about why the person hasn't called and will most likely start to think about all the times in the past that they have been let down in a similar manner. They might start to think things like - "men never call when they say they will, there must be something wrong with me because no one wants to go out with me, men are totally unreliable, no one is ever going to want to go out with me again etc." With all these negative thoughts and self-talk, person A is likely to become stressed, depressed and/or defensive.
Person B on the other hand simply thinks that the potential caller forgot, were busy or changed their minds. They may feel a little disappointed that the phone call did not occur but they do not get involved in a lot of negative thinking and simply let it go and get on with their day.
There are two important differences occurring with our two people.
Person A is taking it personally and is then inventing stories about the situation.
Person B is just sticking to facts. Person B is not dredging up the past and making things up about what is going on and is not jumping to conclusions about what this one missed phone call will mean to their future.
When you look at it like this, you see how ridiculous we can be, when we feel that someone has let us down. We search our past for every related incident and this makes us feel even worse and makes us project into the future and all we can then see is that we are going to be unhappy forever more.
But in reality what has really happened is that we have talked ourselves in to becoming stressed and unhappy.
If we want to stop stressing ourselves with our thinking we need to get control of our wandering minds and instead stick to the facts. With our missed phone call the facts simply are
1. Someone told us they would phone at a certain time
2. They did not phone when they said they would.
3. We probably feel disappointed
So those are the facts - the rest of it we invent.
So next time you are getting stressed, stop a moment and consider what the facts are and what you are inventing about those facts. You may even be able to stop the stress dead in its tracks and laugh at how our own minds can be our worst enemy.
Need ways to reduce your stress levels? See Kerry-Ann Cox's latest book "10 spiritual laws for stress reduction". For information go to http://www.exaltedliving.com/stress.htm It covers more ways that we stress ourselves with our thinking and how to get control or your mind and become calmer.
scheduled maid service Northbrook ..1. The Law of EveryoneIt is not neccessarily wrong to... Read More
In his book, The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness, author... Read More
According to the StressPulse survey by ComPsych Corporation completed at... Read More
One of the hardest forms of stress to avoid is... Read More
It's no secret that we women, by virtue of our... Read More
A friend has this quotation on his office wall: "I... Read More
Mark Twain once said, "It's not what we don't know... Read More
1. Determine your "unique ability" and capitalize on itDelegate the... Read More
No this is not related to praying, this is how... Read More
We all know what it's like coming home from a... Read More
First, let's make a distinction between pressure and stress. We... Read More
This anger management Practice draws on the dual wisdom of... Read More
Anyone who has ever worked knows that stress is part... Read More
A little stress is good for us until it becomes... Read More
There may be so much you want to change in... Read More
Q. I wonder if you could help me with a... Read More
These days, when people have become so conscious about what... Read More
But how can this happen to someone?Let's concentrate on how... Read More
Q. I've been told that I need to learn from... Read More
If you have never tried combining your breathing exercises with... Read More
Q:We recently had someone come to our company to talk... Read More
The World Health Organization calls stress "the health epidemic of... Read More
On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water... Read More
Learn to have healthy relationships:This subject could fill an entire... Read More
Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a... Read More
reliable maid service Highland Park ..According to the StressPulse survey by ComPsych Corporation completed at... Read More
Stress affects different people in different ways, but affect them... Read More
ResentmentsA wise friend once said that holding onto resentments is... Read More
Top Ten Ways to Reduce Your Stress at Home1. Create... Read More
1. Determine your "unique ability" and capitalize on itDelegate the... Read More
The World Health Organization calls stress "the health epidemic of... Read More
It was a self-exploration that made me understand myself. It... Read More
... Read More
I had the unpleasant experience of being pulled over the... Read More
In these times when companies are constantly down-sizing and right-sizing... Read More
I just got through reading some troubling news in the... Read More
Burt Reynolds revealed his vulnerable side when he realized he... Read More
Stress management is a hot topic; stress-related illness and suffering... Read More
It was one of the first words you learned to... Read More
Do you worry all the time?Do the following symptoms bother... Read More
Preparing for sleep the night before is the place to... Read More
When it is all said and done, do you feel... Read More
Of all the sources of stress in our lives, faulty... Read More
We function at our best when we are free from... Read More
Take a moment to think about the week that just... Read More
Looking for some quick stress relief?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker,... Read More
Feeling stressed? Who isn't!! In today's society, feeling "stressed out,"... Read More
Imagine going through your whole life in the constant fear... Read More
1. The Law of StagnationThis is also known as first... Read More
Stress is often seen as being unhealthy, but for some... Read More
Stress Management |