Death by spam is now possible with a new device by Microsoft. The device when implanted in the user's skull allows downloading of email directly into the brain.
Niles Bookbinder, 37, an assistant working for Jon Hanson, author of Good Debt, Bad Debt was accidentally spammed to death Tuesday morning using a beta version of a new email device called, "MS Mind." A Microsoft spokesperson said, "We don't have all of the bugs worked out yet, but this is the first death we know of." Mr. Bookbinder had unwittingly "unchecked" the spam filter in the MS Mind control panel. Without the spam filter, apparently Niles unleashed the entire world of spam into his "medulla interface" and was literally spammed to death. It's likely the last words Mr. Bookbinder heard were, "You've got mail!"
Wireless Medulla Interface providers are popping up everywhere. Dr. Jack Kevorkian sees the new Wireless "G" Medulla cards as a real advance for him. With these systems, euthanasia supporters predict quick, painless death by simply bypassing the filters and downloading thousands of spam emails quickly. Kevorkian said, "I have been looking forward to killing patients by email." Kevorkian expects his prices to be competitive with AOL.
While it is not a victimless crime, it would be a crime without a knowable perpetrator. You would have no way of knowing whether your "loved one" was finished off by the breast enlargement, Viagra softabs starting at $2.99, or $ave $$$ now refinance emails.
A PETA spokesperson, Ima Chihuahua, said she found the idea disturbing because it could lead to so-called Spam Collars that would be used to kill pets as they aged, or "convenience" killings, such as when a young couple could not find a kennel on their way to Vegas or they simply change their minds about having a pet.
PETA may be right. It has long been rumored that KFC has been testing the effectiveness of spamming chickens to death versus simply whacking off their heads. In earlier tests, chickens were forced to watch Gili and Ishtar until they simply cut off their own heads, but this experiment was discontinued because of the cruelty to experimenters.
Spamicide, accidental or not, will undoubtedly set off a bitter debate in America as Anti-Spammers and Right-to-Spam groups rally to raise money and jockey for political clout.
George W. Bush seemed bewildered at this morning's briefing. He looked to his press secretary and said, "Are we Right-to-Spam or Anti-Spammers?" Elsewhere, Jesse Jackson, finding it difficult to be Right-to-Spam said, "It should be the choice of the spammee. Spamicide should be legal, available, and rare."
NEXT WEEK: Partial Spam Deletion. Should this barbaric practice be outlawed? Are thousands of viable spams being killed in spam filters, just before being downloaded? The debate continues...
Jon Hanson
www.gooddebt.com
jon[at]gooddebt.com
Jon Hanson, is the author of "Good Debt, Bad Debt: Knowing the Difference Can Save Your Financial Life"
His web site is http://www.gooddebt.com jon [at] gooddebt.com
For a bit of audio comic relief go to: http://www.gooddebt.com
Available for interviews radio, print, TV, contact Jon through the website http://www.gooddebt.com
Review of Good Debt, Bad Debt: USA Today February 7, 2005 http://www.gooddebt.com
tidy up service Glenview ..Are you tired of spam stealing your time, your money,... Read More
Very often SPAMMERS take advantage of catch-all email setup on... Read More
How would you feel if you found a link on... Read More
Block Spam and Other Email Threats From Entering Your Gateway... Read More
Google is engaged in a war. It is a war... Read More
Below is a letter I wrote to the following organizations:S.H.U.... Read More
The lifeblood of the spammer is email. They need to... Read More
This review is taken DIRECTLY from a piece of "junk... Read More
Over the past few years you've all become familiar with... Read More
1. Ignore Spam EmailDo not open an unsolicited email. Spammers... Read More
You're not alone!Who hasn't surfed the web looking for information... Read More
5 Ways Spam Is Affecting Your Business And what we... Read More
You must be one of them experiencing a lot of... Read More
Q: I am so sick of all the spam that... Read More
What is spam ? ... Read More
If you've been around the interenet any length of time... Read More
If you're anything like me, you're pretty sick of it,... Read More
Why is someone from India, Africa, or elsewhere writing you... Read More
Why do so many people think I need to take... Read More
Effectively stopping spam over the long-term requires much more than... Read More
You just sat at your desk, opened your email account... Read More
While we all admit that unsolicited commercial email is a... Read More
My friends in the web hosting business have recently informed... Read More
Spam. You've all heard of the crazy pink meat in... Read More
Spam is everywhere. It's the "in-box lunch meat" nobody likes,... Read More
full-service cleaning Mundelein ..If you are buried in SPAM then you're not alone.... Read More
Below is a letter I wrote to the following organizations:S.H.U.... Read More
Google is engaged in a war. It is a war... Read More
Although there still seem to be some differences among the... Read More
You all tear your hair out in frustration every time... Read More
Do you get bounced, or rejected emails sent by someone... Read More
The temptation among internet marketers to SPAM is greater than... Read More
Spam is annoying. Period. Why people would want to send... Read More
The Vandals are coming! And this time they're after your... Read More
While the Federal Trade Commission is busy fighting over definitions... Read More
When you receive an email telling you about a virus,... Read More
Effectively stopping spam over the long-term requires much more than... Read More
About a month ago I had the privilege of giving... Read More
If you've been around the interenet any length of time... Read More
I imagine you have seen, heard about, or already know... Read More
While we all agree that there`s way too much spamming/junk-mailing... Read More
You are familiar with the software applications that you run... Read More
RSS is the answer to the Spam epidemic of the... Read More
Like everybody who will ever read this, I get spam... Read More
Until recently, spam has been an annoyance, a definite load... Read More
Marketers usually think of anti-spam tactics as 'how to prevent'... Read More
Most of us have opened our email program and found,... Read More
Very often SPAMMERS take advantage of catch-all email setup on... Read More
Why do so many people think I need to take... Read More
Email is the quintessential business communication tool, so when it... Read More
Spam Blocking |