Defending your point of view can use up a lot of your precious energy. As much as 90% of our available energy can be used in this way.
If you do this a lot, stop doing it and see for yourself. You'll probably feel energised, not to mention liberated.
Sometimes it's necessary to 'defend your view'. If someone is trying to persuade you to do something you don't want to do either walk away or say the minimum. Such as "No."
People respect a simple "no", as long as it's said with conviction. Or you can be polite and say "No thanks". Just leave out the "No, but..." as this leaves an opening for the persuader to get back in to try and 'convince' you.
An example is that an ex-partner always wanted me to go skiing. I hated it but he was always trying to persuade me of its merits. This resulted in many tiring arguments where I defended my views on why I disliked it and he defended his views on why he did.
It was exhausting, I felt as if I was in court and had to come up with a good reasons not to ski!
Finally I realised that all it took was a simple, but emphatic "No". He skied, while I enjoyed the apres ski without the ski...bliss!
If you're not defending your right not to do something that you don't want it's even easier. As soon as defending your view stops being pleasant then just stop.
I can remember a huge row that divided a group I met on holiday. It began as a lightheartded chat about a particular movie. It soon became a heated row. The people who liked it thought there must be something wrong with the people who didn't. And vice versa.
I'm not going to say what the movie was, I don't want to start another row! However, I arrived on the beach the next day day to find them all 'fuming' about this ongoing disagreement. They asked if I'd liked the movie. Actually I'd loathed it, but said it just hadn't appealed to me, and I hadn't really thought about why....
I wasn't going to say another thing...I'd learned by too many mistakes.
If they'd asked me in the heat of the row it would have been wise to say I hadn't seen it! After all, whatever they thought or said would not change the fact I hadn't liked it.
That's the crucial point. Nothing anyone said would have changed my experience of that film. People's views are more often changed by experience, rather than persuasion.
It doesn't matter if it's ice-creams, cars, clothes, holidays, that are being discussed.
You know what you like, you know what you don't like. And that's enough. The more we respect the point of view of others the more they respect ours.
Janet trained as a Professional Stress Consultant. She owns the website http://www.womens-natural-health.com which offers lots of free tips for enhancing your health, happiness and beauty.
detailed home cleaning Lake Forest ..Question 1"How do I get more time to play?"Answer: Schedule... Read More
Take a moment to think about the week that just... Read More
Do you have stress in your life?......I know you answered... Read More
I love a good story and I know I'm not... Read More
Looking for all of the answers in how to manage... Read More
Stress is an interpretation of an event or circumstance which... Read More
"We do not stop playing because we grow old. We... Read More
Caring for a chronically ill loved one can be one... Read More
The National Center for health statistics reported that in 1997,... Read More
Where does stress really come from? Is there any simple... Read More
Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and... Read More
Workplace stress is on the rise and it's costing corporate... Read More
You can learn a lot by watching children playing. There... Read More
Something the successful business person needs is - lots of... Read More
I just got through reading some troubling news in the... Read More
Lake Hopatcong, NJ (PRWEB) November 30, 2004 -- Here are... Read More
I came out of a nightmare 5-year period of anxiety... Read More
Let's take a look at some of the more serious... Read More
"Watch your language."We all heard this admonition as kids and... Read More
Writing down our thoughts and feelings, as in keeping a... Read More
In order to understand stress better, it is a good... Read More
When Army leaders fail to control battlefield stress, they lose... Read More
Everybody deals with fear and anxiety, however some people have... Read More
Feeling stressed? Who isn't!! In today's society, feeling "stressed out,"... Read More
Are you looking for stress relief? No drugs, no meditation?... Read More
trusted cleaning company Des Plaines ..IntroductionTime magazine called stress the "The Epidemic of the Eighties".... Read More
Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and... Read More
Amazing thing, overwhelm!You don't usually see it coming. It just... Read More
As we celebrate yet another Labor Day, I thought it... Read More
Too much driving, too much shopping, too much rushing around,... Read More
Do you ever fret? In today's materialistic age, sometimes fretting... Read More
Q: Someone told me that the Chinese symbol for crisis... Read More
According to the StressPulse survey by ComPsych Corporation completed at... Read More
Worry, big or small blocks positive vibrations from entering your... Read More
Do you ever feel stressed? Is stress a regular component... Read More
In a recent CMA survey of 2251 physicians, over 45%... Read More
What good is Personal or Business Success...if your Health is... Read More
My grandmother, a feisty and athletic woman in her younger... Read More
There is good stress, and there is bad stress. Good... Read More
Most people find it easy to identify the sources of... Read More
An excellent stress reducer can be something as simple as... Read More
Why are you so busy? Do you really have too... Read More
You probably think I'm wacko, but it's true - stress... Read More
Did you know that taking a short trip, such as... Read More
If you've recently experienced loss or are going through a... Read More
I'm sure you have heard of IBS, irritable bowel syndrome,... Read More
In his book, The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness, author... Read More
Do you have stress in your life?......I know you answered... Read More
Have you ever said the words, "This job/my life is... Read More
If there was a way of relaxing quickly and easily... Read More
Stress Management |