Home
>
Stress Management
>
Stress Secrets: How To Remove Hidden Sources Of Stress

Stress Secrets: How To Remove Hidden Sources Of Stress

Most people find it easy to identify the sources of stress in their lives. Ask Maggie M. about the stress in her life and she says, "I run a full time business and have an active toddler. My husband's job keeps him working 10 hours days, so I do most of the errands. I know exactly where stress comes from!" But many people find that even in times of great happiness, they find themselves feeling anxious, depressed or flat-out stressed. One possible cause of these feelings is invisible stressors, for example:

1) Marriage: Being a newlywed is supposed to the culmination of a dream. Women, especially, are often raised to think that marriage is the fulfillment of womanhood. But it's a huge change for men and women alike. Even if you shared living quarters before marriage, the event can give rise to new expectations and pressures from family, friends and work.

2) Travel. Many people schedule travel vacations as a reward for hard work. Beautiful beaches, a week away from the in-box, the out-box, and the phone, endless entertainments for kids. Unfortunately, even the best laid vacation plans can go awry: delayed flights, flat tires, or a sick child can snag even the most seamless vacation plans. And travel advertisement may not be realistic: the beach may be crowded, the best restaurant closed for repairs, the slopes snow-free. Maybe a hidden hope of romance didn't come true, or the antiques shopping turned out to be more expensive or less interesting than you expected.

3) Holidays. While the movie "Home for the holidays" plays on the humor of holiday stress, in real-life the stress takes place real-time. You may be meeting new people or parents who still treat you as if you're a teenager. We may expect gifts, family behavior, or meals that don't meet those expectations. And for many people, holidays bring up painful memories of people now gone, happier times gone by, or past dashed hopes.

4) Promotions. We often view promotion as a reward for hard labor or special ability, with a more prestigious title or increased paycheck. But promotions can shake up your self-image; you may ask if you're really up to the new tasks, deserving of the raise, or capable of handling the new people you'll be working with. Even the increased paycheck can bring up questions at home about how the extra money should be spent (or not spent) and how it will impact the lives of your children or parents.

5) Retirement or children leaving home. You may be thinking: "Ah, now I have time for myself." No more fussing and feuding about the job, the boss, the child's fluctuating grades or more dubious friends. But these milestones also involve a redefining of the self: who am I now that I'm not "a carpenter," "a manager," or "Dad"?

What's The Common Factor

The first key to finding hidden stressors is to look for changes. Any big change, even a positive one, is a change, and change - in our evolutionary pasts - were equated with danger. Our bodies go through a series of hormonal and neuronal changes to deal with potential danger, and we feel stressed until we've learned to accommodate a new situation.

The second key to finding hidden stressors is to look for situations where one's expectations don't match reality. This is the situation when vacations don't go as planned or we discover that our new spouse, wonderful though he is, owns three versions of a video golf game.

How To Manage Hidden Stress

So, how can we mitigate some of these stresses? First, understand that they are stresses. Give yourself the mental space to accommodate these changes; understand that it will take some time to adapt to these changes. Second, recognize what your expectations are about a big change - what are your hopes for your retirement? your pregnancy? Then garner information: talk with friends who've been to your chosen vacation spot, meet with other expectant fathers, talk with your favorite siblings about what worked about the last family holidays and didn't.

Plan for the problems that may arrive, but also make sure your plan has space and time in it for the problems you couldn't predict: don't plan the first event for an hour after you arrive in Orlando, schedule an activity for your weekend guests that will leave you an hour and an empty house to relax in. Make sure there's some dreamtime scheduled into your first few weeks of retirement and some time for spontaneous changes that can be the best part of any new event. While you can't plan for every event, you can give yourself the space to accommodate the unplannable and enjoy the new part of your life.

McConnell EA, "Myths & facts ... about stress." Nursing, Volume 30, issue 8, p. 82, 2000

Jones PS, "Adaptability: a personal resource for health," Scholarly Inquiry for Nursing Practice, Volume 5, issue 2, p. 95-108, 1991

Stokes SA, Gordon SE., " Common stressors experienced by the well elderly, clinical implications," Journal of Gerontological Nursing, Volume 29, issue 5, p 38-46, 2003

Learn more about health, diet and exercise at our weight loss forum.

PhenForum.com is a popular discussion forum for weight loss programs, weight loss advice, and tips to help you weight loss.

All the best,

Ian Mason

shuttle to Midway Beardstown .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

Google’s scam detection features, powered by artificial intelligence, are a significant step forward in safeguarding Android users from fraud.

The FBI has issued a warning that scammers are impersonating doctors, police and banks using spoofed numbers as "smishing" texts surge nationwide.

Communities with unreliable internet service stand to gain after Amazon's Project Kuiper launched its first full batch of satellites into orbit April 28.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says unsubscribing from spam might actually backfire. Learn when to avoid it and stop junk effectively.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how the first nonstop beating heart transplant, called zero ischemic time, at Taiwan hospital changes surgery.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson: FBI warns of "time-traveling" hackers.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about a soft, vine-like robot called SPROUT that aids safe survivor rescues in collapsed buildings.

Health insurance giant Blue Shield of California confirmed it had been sharing private health data of 4.7 million users with Google for three years without even realizing it.

Delta and JetZero’s blended wing body aircraft marks a meaningful step toward a cleaner, quieter and more efficient future for air travel.

Recent reports show many common passwords can be cracked in literally seconds. Kurt the CyberGuy explains how to strengthen your passwords.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Iron, a robot that stands 5 feet, 8 inches tall and weighs 154 pounds, combines advanced artificial intelligence with human-like movement and exceptional vision.

Hertz, the rental car giant, recently confirmed that customer information was exposed through a cyberattack on one of its software vendors.

There are a number of features with AirPods you may or may not know about to take your listening experience to the next level. Kurt the CyberGuy explains.

These 35 Chrome extensions have privacy and security concerns. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says to delete them now.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says 329,000 mph fusion rocket promises to be fast, disruptive and enable deep-space missions.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says a new autonomous AI is a game changer that also raises privacy risks. Is your data safe?

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says robots and drones are revolutionizing fruit farming with faster picking and smarter handling.

Landmark Admin revises May 2024 cyberattack scope to show twice as many people were affected. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson gives tips to help stay safe from an insurance data breach.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson talks about how Yamaha’s hydrogen outboard motor could revolutionize boating with zero emissions.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how to memorialize or remove a deceased loved one’s Facebook account and protect their digital legacy from misuse or scams.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says an Apple Watch saved psychiatrist Amanda Faulkner by detecting deadly leukemia early.

Scammers and fraudsters are increasingly targeting the most vulnerable, especially nursing homes and the personal data of their residents. Kurt the CyberGuy has safety tips.

Infected USB flash drives can spread malware among multiple organizations in ways that can easily bypass traditional security systems.

Stress Secrets: How To Remove Hidden Sources Of Stress

Stress Management