Home
>
Stress Management
>
Stress Management: 7 Universal Laws for Managing Change

Stress Management: 7 Universal Laws for Managing Change

1. The Law of Stagnation

This is also known as first order change. First order change is a type of change where there really is no change.

How's that again? Pretty foggy, huh?

Allow me to clear it up for you. Authors Waltzlawick, Weakland and Fisch, in their book "Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution" explain it this way:

"...A person having a nightmare can do many things in their dream - run, hide, fight, scream, jump off a cliff, etc. - but no change from any one of these behaviors to another would ever terminate the nightmare."

In other words, you can have lots of action and moving around, without any real change taking place.

A good example from the relationship world is the belief that ending one relationship for another will change everything and make you happy. Not necessarily. Remember these profound words of wisdom, "Wherever you go, you take yourself with you."

2. The Law of Transformation

This is also known as second order change. Again, according to the authors,

"The one way out of a dream involves a change from dreaming to waking. Waking, obviously, is no longer a part of the dream, but a change to a different state altogether."

In other words, transformation, or put more simply, real change, involves movement from one state to another.

3. The Law of The Clutch

This is also known as the law of conscious attention. Several years ago, the clutch went out on my two year old car. I asked the mechanic why this would happen so soon and he asked me a few questions about how I drive. It turns out I was a champion clutch rider. If it was possible for me to have the clutch in, it was in.

What's the point? Well, I found myself having to pay conscious attention to something I had been doing, kind of unconsciously, for years - driving.

There are times in our life where we have to pay conscious and careful attention to what we are doing and thinking in order to get the changes we want.

4. The Law of Others

Whenever you set out to change someone else, you are doomed to frustration and failure. The only person we can change is ourselves, and that's difficult enough sometimes.

5. The Law of Wet Diapers

The only person who always likes change is a wet baby. Sometimes change can be the last thing we want. At the same time, change is an inevitable part of our lives.

6. The Law of Waves

Like change, there are three ways to handle a wave: you can let it knock you down, you can survive it, or you can ride it and thrive. Only the wisest and most creative of people do the latter.

7. The Law of Kaleidoscopes

Remember the kaleidoscopes we played with as kids? You would look through the hole in the tube, turn the end of the tube and watch the colors change. Many times there would be a series of small shifts followed by a big shift in the picture.

That's often how we change as well. We make a series of small shifts leading to big changes.

So if you find yourself frustrated by only being able to make small changes, remember, big changes can be just one more small shift away.

Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

recurring housekeeping Lincolnshire ...

In The News:

A clean credit report doesn't mean your identity is safe. Six ways criminals can steal from you without triggering a credit monitoring alert.

Carolyn Marvin, a 78-year-old retired professor, was arrested after blocking an Uber Eats delivery robot on a Philadelphia sidewalk for months.

The Midnight Mimosa malware campaign hides inside cheap Android phone firmware, giving attackers powerful access before owners even turn devices on.

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Meta's Muse AI was built to manage tasks, but users are developing romantic AI relationships and even calling the AI companion their girlfriend.

A Minnesota murder suspect's notebook listed 11 people search websites, raising urgent questions about data broker opt-out and online privacy risks.

Google Universal Cart tracks price drops, surfaces promo codes and uses Google Wallet to match your best credit card rewards before checkout.

Safari's Notify Me feature and Google's price-tracking tools can monitor products and send alerts when prices drop on your iPhone or Android.

George Weiner built PACspam.org to trace who sends nonstop political fundraising texts after blocking numbers repeatedly failed to stop the messages.

A dedicated VPN IP address may reduce frustrating CAPTCHAs and bank login security checks by giving websites a consistent connection to recognize.

Apple Wallet in iOS 27 lets you create digital passes from physical cards using a photo or screenshot, but not every card in your wallet qualifies.

Anthropic's Claude AI submitted a fabricated eyewitness tip about an unsolved murder to a Philadelphia police website during automated testing.

P7 DarkSword iPhone spyware can steal saved passwords, photos, Apple Notes and cryptocurrency wallet data by checking for commands every 15 seconds.

Cybersecurity experts told Fox News Digital that a cyberattack on French supermarket freezers should warn the U.S. about critical infrastructure gaps.

The Oracle Health breach exposed medical records, Social Security numbers and diagnoses of nearly 20 million patients across multiple states.

The new Tesla Roadster drove upside down and launched into the air at SpaceX's Texas facility, but a 2028 production target remains unconfirmed.

Apple's iOS 27 lets you add keywords to iPhone photos, while Samsung Gallery tags and Google Photos search offer similar organization tools.

A fake Claude AI download scam uses Google ads, and Bing redirects to trick Mac users into pasting a hidden malicious command in their Terminal.

Ahold Delhaize's cybersecurity incident knocked online ordering and digital coupons offline at Stop & Shop, Food Lion, Hannaford and Giant Food stores.

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Amazon's About You feature includes personality details from your shopping history, and some shoppers are finding hilariously awkward results.

Identity theft recovery starts with securing bank accounts, freezing credit and enabling two-factor authentication within the first 24 hours.

Apple's $299 HomeView smart display uses facial recognition to personalize screens for up to six household members and show live security camera feeds.

Domonique DuBose spotted red flags when a man on Hinge with 85,000 followers and a blue checkmark claimed to be a San Francisco 49ers player.

Your phone's location data can expose visits to doctors, pharmacies and places of worship. The FTC took action against data brokers selling this data.