How Stressed-Out Are YOU?

Are you feeling stressed out? Too many things to do, too little time? One more thing added to the To-Do list and you feel like you'll explode?

Whoa there, no exploding allowed! You can handle it-just listen in.

Listen? To what?

To your self-talk. Not yourself talk, but your SELF-TALK. Listen in to the demands you're making of your time, but more importantly listen in to how you're saying them and what you're saying.

Many of us don't pay particular attention to what we're saying to ourselves. We've never been taught the importance of how damaging it can be to us nor have we been shown that we can use it to feel much better. You can literally un-stress yourself by using your own self-talk.

Listen in for ?need-, -have-to-, -must-, type statements that you make to yourself.

"First I need to drop the kids off, then I have-to go to the grocery store, then I need to stop at the bank, then I have-to get home and work on those taxes before having to go back out and pick up the kids."

You've just created a lot of demands on yourself. And yes, in order for your life to continue like you want, you would prefer to do all those things exactly as you have envisioned. But you don't NEED to, HAVE-TO or MUST.

By using demanding statements on yourself, you open up a lot of opportunities to say irrational things to yourself that create stress.

When you use demanding statements, you then create a scenario of "what-if" in your head. And when the "what-if's" back-up, then watch out stress level!

"What if I don't get it done, what if I don't get there in time to get the kids, what if this, what if that." This is when you really go into stress mode!

Asking such open-ended questions is the origin much of your stress. You often answer with "that would be awful, that would be terrible" which compounds the stressful feelings even more.

Since awful and terrible are labels way beyond bad, (actually labels that are beyond definition) you've created a situation in your head that ends up with you saying to yourself "?and I couldn't stand it if that happened," or "?I couldn't stand feeling that way!"

It's indeed a vicious cycle of thinking that is common to all of us. Fortunately, once you know how, you can think your way out of these situations as quickly as you got in.

So where do you start?

First, flag such have-to, must, need-to statements in your head. Then replace the needs, musts and have-tos with preferences, desires, and wants.

Then when something doesn't go according to your desires, reduce the awfuls and terribles to simply, bad. Then rest-assure yourself that you can stand it.

What if you don't make it to the bank? What if you're late picking up the kids?? Well, it's not what you wanted, it may indeed even have consequences which may be bad, but in the overall scheme of things it isn't awful and you CAN stand it.

A great deal of stress is caused from within by this "I-can't-stand-it-it is."

Remember: whenever you hear yourself saying "need-to, have-to, got-to, etc" replace it with want-to or would like to. Substitute needs with desires; musts with preferences.

And remind yourself that awful things will not happen if your desires are not met. You may not like the results if things don't go your way, but you can indeed stand the feelings. It may not be good if things don't fall into place like you want, but the world will continue to spin and you will be able to handle it.

It takes some practice. Don't expect it to happen for you like magic. Pay attention to your self-talk, listen for the what-if statements, flag the must and need statements. Dispute them with wants and desires. Do it vigorously. With time it will become second nature, and you'll notice the lack of stress in your life.

Dr. David L. Thomas, LMHC

About The Author

Dr. David Thomas is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with a practice in Tampa, FL. He has been counseling people to feel better for over 21 years. This article is posted at www.stressgroup.com. He is also the co-author of Quit Smoking-Be Happy!-see www.stressgroup.com to learn more.

on demand house cleaning Mundelein .!

In The News:

Safari's Notify Me feature and Google's price-tracking tools can monitor products and send alerts when prices drop on your iPhone or Android.

George Weiner built PACspam.org to trace who sends nonstop political fundraising texts after blocking numbers repeatedly failed to stop the messages.

A dedicated VPN IP address may reduce frustrating CAPTCHAs and bank login security checks by giving websites a consistent connection to recognize.

Apple Wallet in iOS 27 lets you create digital passes from physical cards using a photo or screenshot, but not every card in your wallet qualifies.

Anthropic's Claude AI submitted a fabricated eyewitness tip about an unsolved murder to a Philadelphia police website during automated testing.

P7 DarkSword iPhone spyware can steal saved passwords, photos, Apple Notes and cryptocurrency wallet data by checking for commands every 15 seconds.

Cybersecurity experts told Fox News Digital that a cyberattack on French supermarket freezers should warn the U.S. about critical infrastructure gaps.

The Oracle Health breach exposed medical records, Social Security numbers and diagnoses of nearly 20 million patients across multiple states.

The new Tesla Roadster drove upside down and launched into the air at SpaceX's Texas facility, but a 2028 production target remains unconfirmed.

Apple's iOS 27 lets you add keywords to iPhone photos, while Samsung Gallery tags and Google Photos search offer similar organization tools.

A fake Claude AI download scam uses Google ads, and Bing redirects to trick Mac users into pasting a hidden malicious command in their Terminal.

Ahold Delhaize's cybersecurity incident knocked online ordering and digital coupons offline at Stop & Shop, Food Lion, Hannaford and Giant Food stores.

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Amazon's About You feature includes personality details from your shopping history, and some shoppers are finding hilariously awkward results.

Identity theft recovery starts with securing bank accounts, freezing credit and enabling two-factor authentication within the first 24 hours.

Apple's $299 HomeView smart display uses facial recognition to personalize screens for up to six household members and show live security camera feeds.

Domonique DuBose spotted red flags when a man on Hinge with 85,000 followers and a blue checkmark claimed to be a San Francisco 49ers player.

Your phone's location data can expose visits to doctors, pharmacies and places of worship. The FTC took action against data brokers selling this data.

Hackers targeted Danfoss refrigerator controls across French supermarkets, forcing chains like Carrefour and Monoprix to discard massive food stocks.

iOS 27 finally lets iPhone Shared Albums store photos and videos at full resolution in iCloud, but new items count toward the owner's storage.

A fake Facebook Marketplace text scam uses your real name as the seller to trick you into replying, and Malwarebytes warns even one response helps.

The Pentagon data breach exposed 2.76 million Social Security numbers and military records, raising long-term identity theft concerns for veterans.

Kodiak AI plans to haul IKEA freight on Texas highways with no one in the cab, raising urgent cybersecurity and safety questions for drivers.

Apple Intelligence in iOS 27 adds Extend and Reframe tools to Photos, letting iPhones generate new background areas beyond your original borders.

Microsoft's X account was hijacked to promote a crypto pump-and-dump scheme, exposing its more than 13 million followers to a scam campaign.

How Stressed-Out Are YOU?

Stress Management