Fear of Success? Fear of Failure?

What's holding you back?

One of my clients came to me saying he wanted to expand his business - something he had thought about for years. He described the changes he wanted to make but he had taken limited action to make those changes happen. When he talked about what he wanted, his eyes lit up, he smiled, and there was passion and joy in his voice. Years? What was stopping him? I listened as he expressed his internal conflict. He said " My business is going well, and it's not like I have to make changes, maybe it's not that important? on and on." Bottom line - some part of him inside continued to feel unfulfilled.

On the surface, it sounded like the changes he wanted to make were for financial gains. Talking further, he realized he was really speaking of a level of service (how he wanted to help people improve their quality of life) and personal fulfillment (actualizing his values, purpose, and vision) that would come from aligning who he is and what he does in a BIGGER way.

We discussed the things he told himself that allowed him to remain stationary. His initial objection was "If I put myself out and take some risks- what if I fail?" (What if this or that happens??? ) I replied, " With all the years of experience you have thinking about what you want without committing to action, you have brilliantly SUCCEEDED in FAILING! "Congratulations!!!" His eyes widened, and he burst out laughing. By doing nothing, he insured his success at failing.

Going forward in our coaching sessions, we focused on his attitudes about success/failure AND identified his values, needs, purpose, and vision. Increased self-awareness enabled him to make choices and design strategic actions to create greater life satisfaction and self-fulfillment.

Consider a change you have been thinking/talking about for a while without much progress.

To learn more about what may be holding you back from moving forward, ask yourself:

-- What is your definition of success? What does success mean to you? Be specific.

-- Identify specific successes. What made them successes for you? What value did you receive from succeeding?

-- What fears, concerns, or assumptions do you have associated with success?

-- How would your life change if you were/felt more successful? (at whatever)

-- What would you have to give up? What would you gain?

-- Who would you become? (happier, self-confident, authentic, stronger???)

In exploring your attitudes about failure, consider the following:

-- What is your definition of failure? What does failure mean to you?

-- If you fail at something, does that define YOU as a failure?

-- What specific failures have you experienced? What value have you received from failing? Be specific

-- What fears, concerns, or assumptions do you associate with failure? Are they true?

-- Can there be success in failure? If yes, how? If no, say more.

-- If you could not fail, what would you be doing? Who would you be?

Fear of success/failure are two sides of the same experience. By definition, success and failure is perceived from multiple viewpoints. Both results offer opportunities for self-discovery and change. Developing the clarity to know who you are on the inside is a key ingredient to achieve rich outcomes with ease, strength, and focus! To live fully, you must fully participate ? succeeding and failing for the joy of the experience.

Copyright 2003, Lorraine Cohen

____________________________________________

Lorraine Cohen of Powerfull Living (http://www.powerfull-living.biz) is a Business Coach and Life Strategist and Team Member of Solo-E (http://www.powerfull-living.biz). Integrating her therapy background with coaching, she helps people make more money, manage their time, increase self-assurance, resolve inner conflict, stay focused on the results they want, and balance work and home life.

____________________________________________

*********** Find more articles like this at http://www.powerfull-living.biz ? Keeping Solo Entrepreneurs Juiced in Business and in Life. Our team of Solo Entrepreneurs are comprised of small business experts who support others in finding business success with the flexibility and freedom to have a life, too. Network with other freelancers, self-employed and Solo Entrepreneurs in our forums, enjoy our articles and newsletter, and find other online training opportunities. ***********

scheduled cleaning services Wilmette ...
In The News:

Ahold Delhaize's cybersecurity incident knocked online ordering and digital coupons offline at Stop & Shop, Food Lion, Hannaford and Giant Food stores.
The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Amazon's About You feature includes personality details from your shopping history, and some shoppers are finding hilariously awkward results.
Identity theft recovery starts with securing bank accounts, freezing credit and enabling two-factor authentication within the first 24 hours.
Apple's $299 HomeView smart display uses facial recognition to personalize screens for up to six household members and show live security camera feeds.
Domonique DuBose spotted red flags when a man on Hinge with 85,000 followers and a blue checkmark claimed to be a San Francisco 49ers player.
Your phone's location data can expose visits to doctors, pharmacies and places of worship. The FTC took action against data brokers selling this data.
Hackers targeted Danfoss refrigerator controls across French supermarkets, forcing chains like Carrefour and Monoprix to discard massive food stocks.
iOS 27 finally lets iPhone Shared Albums store photos and videos at full resolution in iCloud, but new items count toward the owner's storage.
A fake Facebook Marketplace text scam uses your real name as the seller to trick you into replying, and Malwarebytes warns even one response helps.
The Pentagon data breach exposed 2.76 million Social Security numbers and military records, raising long-term identity theft concerns for veterans.
Kodiak AI plans to haul IKEA freight on Texas highways with no one in the cab, raising urgent cybersecurity and safety questions for drivers.
Apple Intelligence in iOS 27 adds Extend and Reframe tools to Photos, letting iPhones generate new background areas beyond your original borders.
Microsoft's X account was hijacked to promote a crypto pump-and-dump scheme, exposing its more than 13 million followers to a scam campaign.
Scammers can combine your name, phone number and address with data breach details to attempt SIM swaps, phishing and even identity theft schemes.
ChatGPT Work, Meta Muse and Gemini Spark can monitor flight prices, sort your email inbox and track important deadlines, but savvy users start small.
iPhone, Samsung Galaxy and Google Pixel each hide a built-in tool that turns a video frame into a separate photo without any screenshot needed.
Operation KillSwitch dismantled KillSec's ransomware infrastructure, but investigators say a 16-year-old allegedly ran the entire cybercrime operation.
The Fox News Artificial Intelligence newsletter covers where voters will decide on AI data center ballot measures and Jeff Bezos' tech vision.
Apple's Impersonation Risk Detection in iOS 27 can flag suspicious activity inside apps, but the setting is off by default and must be enabled.
Federal Election Commission records can expose your name, address, employer and donation history once contributions exceed the $200 threshold.
Cybersecurity expert Morgan Wright says human skepticism remains the strongest defense against AI-driven phishing scams and voice cloning fraud schemes.
iPhone, Google Pixel and Samsung Galaxy each handle security updates differently, and one screen saying "up to date" may not tell the whole story.
Deborah Del Mastro heard what sounded like her daughter's terrified voice on the phone, launching a five-hour virtual kidnapping scam ordeal.
Hotel TV privacy risks go beyond forgotten passwords when you sign into Netflix or other streaming apps on shared devices you don't control.

How to Talk Yourself Into Success

You've tried and failed. You've watched others fall. You're wiped... Read More

The High Cost of Doing Nothing

Cost is sometimes a difficult term to define. Here, we... Read More

Success -Ten Winning Traits!

No surprise - winning traits are common among high achievers.Are... Read More

The #1 Success Secret of All Time

From time to time I receive correspondence from individuals with... Read More

Do You Know Whats The #1 Success Secret Is?

How many people do you hear complaining about their job,... Read More

Success Takes Practice

As a speaker and trainer, people often approach me after... Read More

Are You In It - To Win It?

Have you ever heard this? "It isn't whether you win... Read More

How To Get Out Of The Way Of Your Own Success

Success is something that happens all by itself once you've... Read More

Life Lesson--Be, Do, Have

This revelation hit me the other day while I was... Read More

Success ...Whats the Key Ingredient?

Don't expect results over night - what??If you were to... Read More

Discover Your Path to Success - Part 2

Time taken for self-analysis is so important in developing your... Read More

Reach Your Goals - Start A Round Robin

Start a "round robin" goal letter with others who need... Read More

The Impossible Dream

The 72,500 men, women and children sat in an uncomfortable... Read More

Skills or Beliefs: Which Matters Most to Your Business?

Skills or beliefs; this may well be another example of... Read More

Balance: Flow and Faith

In so many areas of life we must always be... Read More

Goal Setting: Pops Proves Its Never Too Late

Pops first set the goal in high school, but when... Read More

Plan to Succeed

Have you ever made plans in your career but never... Read More

How to Use Your Pain to Gain

Pain. All of us have felt that emotion some time... Read More

Do You Know Your Success Barriers?

I can tell, with 95% accuracy, if you are going... Read More

3 Powerful Tips to Help You Have Your Best Year Ever

Here are 3 powerful steps you can take to free... Read More

Live Your Life To The Fullest

Do you sometimes feel that you're living a boring life?... Read More

Re-defining Success in Midlife

When entering second adulthood, many women will begin a journey... Read More

Using A Weekly Review To Improve My Life And Business

"What a week!" you say at the end of a... Read More

Create Your Own Security As You Create Life Changes

Self-change is a personal phenomenon. In order to accomplish it,... Read More

The Secret Key (Part 1): An Overwhelming Purpose

Imagine that you are in a dimly-lit room. You don't... Read More

premium house cleaning Winnetka ...