'No man is an island' the saying goes. The implication is that humans cannot exist alone. I would take the island aphorism a step further and contend that no one can be successful alone. Merely existing day-to-day is not enough. Success must be an essential part of our lives. Individual success builds our personal power, increases joy & fulfillment and grows a strong sense of self-esteem. Regardless of how we define our individual idea of success, it is impossible to manifest that desired outcome alone. Fortunately, women are collaborative by nature. We work well on teams and in efforts for the benefit of others. So why is it so difficult for us to act on behalf of ourselves?
Let's look at some of the reasons why we allow ourselves to go it alone:
1) We don't want to ask for help. For many of us, we were told that we could do anything. With that mantra drilled into our minds, it can be a difficult paradox to admit that we may actually need help with something.
2) We are lonely. We feel as if there isn't anyone who can understand what we are going through so we inadvertently make the problem worse by isolating ourselves. However, if one woman feels this way, chances are others do too.
3) We don't want to admit that we aren't perfect. Many of us fear others realizing that we don't have it all together. In reality, however, not one person in this world has it completely together all the time.
4) We often lack confidence. Confidence is an attitude that is a direct outcome of our self-esteem. When we doubt what we want or doubt that we are capable of achieving something, we are often reluctant to enlist the support of others.
5) We don't want to admit that we don't have all the answers. For example, women at work often overcompensate out of a fear of looking unintelligent or unprepared by learning everything possible. This is a waste of energy. Inevitably, a question will come up that we cannot answer.
Instead of inviting a dangerous drift towardfrustrating discontentment, consider taking two steps to set yourself on an authentic path of success:
1) Find a support team. Identify someone with whom you can talk the nitty-gritty. The simple act of self-disclosure will boost your outlook enormously. A support team will also help you offset and minimizes any failures while also championing your vision. I recommend someone outside the family. Family members are too emotionally tied to us. They often cannot champion our success or share our challenges without translating our words into actions that affect them. Don't forget to ask for what you need from your support team. Do you want them to just listen or offer feedback and ideas as well? Let them know how you would like to be supported.
2) Change your mindset:
a) Replace 'perfect' in thoughts & actions with 'authentic'. Perfect is stagnant, contained and invariable while authentic is fresh, limitless and unique.
b) Recall past successes to help remain mindful of the fact that you are terrific at certain things so you can definitely be terrific at other things too.
c) Allow yourself to ask questions instead of allowing fear to dominate. Each time you ask a question, you give yourself permission not to know. When you do not know, you open yourself up to the powerful world of possibility and learning.
We are each magnificent women. But by falling into the 'me vs. the world' trap, we set ourselves up for disappointment. When we limit ourselves by our beliefs, doubts or behaviors, we diminish our opportunity for success and growth increasing our chances of disappointment. Disappointment is emotionally & physically draining and not least of all a huge waste of time. Evaluate what these changes yield in terms of your own success. Pretty soon you will be inventing your own success aphorism!
Elizabeth Johnson is a life coach who specializes in women's empowerment through authentic living. She works with women exclusively who want something more- confidence, faith, choice, direction, money, time, power. Elizabeth helps women recognize that everything in their life is a choice and by putting themselves first, clarifying their passions and values and by building self-confidence, they can have the life that they want. Her business, E. Johnson & Company offers personal growth workshops & seminars, coaching for individuals and groups, life / work planning services, speaking engagements and facilitated retreats.
Contact Elizabeth at info@ejohnsonandcompany.com or at 860 435 6008 for more information or for a complimentary consultation.
Visit info@ejohnsonandcompany.com and subscribe to Elizabeth's monthly ezine, 'In The Pink' and receive a free copy of the survey special report: 'Women & Confidence 2005'!
trusted cleaning company Arlington Heights ...So you vowed to make some changes - develop healthier... Read More
Napoleon Hill coined the concept of the mastermind alliance in... Read More
"Walk away from the 97% crowd. Don't use their excuses.... Read More
Temp your way to the top Want to take the... Read More
(Excerpted From The Jim Rohn One-Year Success Plan - Pillar... Read More
One of the most common refrains I hear from people... Read More
We must never allow a day to pass without finding... Read More
One of the keys to being successful in anything you... Read More
What does a sharp saw have to do with lifelong... Read More
"Write checks on a regular basis to those who you... Read More
Most of my clients had a vision of the contribution... Read More
One of the hallmarks of all successful and high achieving... Read More
Dare to Dream~It is said that every person has at... Read More
Two weeks ago we took a look at the power... Read More
One of the common elements you see in almost all... Read More
You can be a master achiever by developing the same... Read More
One of the most overlooked opportunities for learning and personal... Read More
Ask yourself the following:1. I have created a life-strategy plan... Read More
You're enjoying a perfectly shallow conversation with a good friend... Read More
Recently, I have been riveted by the amazing reality show... Read More
Do you sometimes feel that you're living a boring life?... Read More
Since December 1st 2004, I have written one article or... Read More
Don't talk to me about how to succeed! I've read... Read More
He was pencil thin and walked with a limp. A... Read More
Time taken for self-analysis is so important in developing your... Read More
housekeepers near Bannockburn ...Evaluations are a tremendous resource to help us know where... Read More
Dr. Wayne Dyer published his best-selling book, "10 Secrets for... Read More
Management by Objectives, strategic planning, quality, teams, re-engineering. Passing management... Read More
Knowing when to disconnect, shut it off, unplug, or walk... Read More
Your mind is the only tool that can create success... Read More
There are so many internet marketing schemes out there so... Read More
Be weary and leery when it comes to standardized tests... Read More
My life is a bubble; but how much solid cash... Read More
All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy... Read More
Most sports are full of lessons for the discerning. Tennis... Read More
Sometimes short cuts are not worth taking. They may bring... Read More
Lesson 1. Category Well Being Plan to do this.Stop blaming... Read More
By popular request, I thought I would put together this... Read More
Want to be successful in whatever it is you choose... Read More
I've been thinking a lot about what I believe to... Read More
Succinctly said, success is harmony. When the result is congruent... Read More
Being busy has become a way of life for many... Read More
"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my... Read More
Whenever I ask people this question, "what do you really... Read More
We've all been driving down the road and seen those... Read More
The simple action of writing the every day grocery demonstrates... Read More
Today I was glad that I had bothered to read... Read More
There is a saying that goes something like this: Getting... Read More
An unexamined life is not worth living ? SocratesAll too... Read More
Most self-help truths are obvious but obvious truths are often... Read More
Success |