Q: Someone told me that the Chinese symbol for crisis means danger and opportunity. I just lost my job, and I see nothing but bad stuff in this. Where is the opportunity?
A: When you are hit with a life crisis such as losing a job, it's easy to focus on only the dangers and bad things.
Here are five questions to ask yourself when life hands you something you don't want or like. They are designed to get you through the crisis and to help you manage your thoughts and emotions as well.
1. In how many ways can I make this work for me?
The language of this question is important because it contains what is called a presupposition. I think that the first people to really understand the human brain and emotions were not psychologists, but those in advertising and sales.
For example, when you are shopping for a new car a good salesperson will ask "Do you want to buy the red car or the blue car?" The presupposition is that you will buy one of them.
Our question presupposes that there is a way to make this work for you, and it also assumes there are several ways to do this. It may take a great deal of creativity, but creativity is simply the ability to look at something that has always been there and see something that has not been seen before.
2. What's good about this? What does this allow me to do that I might not have done before?
One of the many results of losing a job is you suddenly have a lot of time on your hands. While this can be scary, it also can work to your advantage. Are there projects around the house you can now complete? Are there members of your family with whom you can spend more time?
One of the best uses of this time can be to step back and consider what it is you really want to do in life. If you have been doing something that is not your passion, losing your job could be your ticket to living and working out your passion.
3. What would you love to do?
If there is not a job like that around, how could you create one in a way that would add value to the lives of others? The happiest people I know are those who are doing what they love for a living.
4. What does this force me to do that I might not have done before?
When our backs are up against the wall, we sometimes have to face issues we have been avoiding. Do you need to improve your job skills? Go back to school? Sometimes being out of work can expose financial areas of your life that have not been taken care of. Once you are working again, do you need to get out of debt, take care of retirement, or something else?
5. How many ways can I make this work for me?
I know I asked that question once already. But questions 2 through 4 prepare you to better answer the question the second time around. See what other useful answers you can come up with at this point.
It comes down to a sometimes difficult choice: Am I going to focus on all the ugliness of what has happened, or am I going to focus on how to come out of this better, stronger and wiser than when I went in?
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
home sanitizing services Arlington Heights ...I have yet to see a scientist talk about the... Read More
An excellent stress reducer can be something as simple as... Read More
Do you get out of your car with a queasy... Read More
Elizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told... Read More
It is an inescapable fact, we live in a stressful... Read More
The pace of life seems to quicken every year. More... Read More
More than two-thirds of visits to doctors' surgeries are for... Read More
Amazing thing, overwhelm!You don't usually see it coming. It just... Read More
I had the unpleasant experience of being pulled over the... Read More
Make stress less of an issue for you in your... Read More
Q. I've suffered a few setbacks and disappointments in the... Read More
The future is nothing but a fantasy or a daydream,... Read More
While free-lancing for business magazines, I was assigned to write... Read More
I came out of a nightmare 5-year period of anxiety... Read More
"Do you want to be a lump of coal or... Read More
Many CEOs see stress as an intractable problem which would... Read More
We wonder how many of you might recognise this scenario?... Read More
Caring for a chronically ill loved one can be one... Read More
Everyone experiences stress at some point in their life. In... Read More
THE ENCHANTED SELF? teaches you how to access positive states... Read More
In a hectic world, it's all too easy to reach... Read More
This heading may seem like a contradiction in terms. How... Read More
Breathing is the vital force of life. It is considered... Read More
When was the last time that you truly took a... Read More
Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour... Read More
spring cleaning service Buffalo Grove ...My work often deals with proactive, preventive means to Overcome... Read More
June is the month of the honey moon. Custom holds... Read More
"One day I'm a mother, One day I'm a lover,... Read More
Elizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told... Read More
A little stress is good for us until it becomes... Read More
My first real job (schedule, time clock, paycheck, boss) was... Read More
10 Ways to Monitor Corporate Stress LevelsGood military leaders work... Read More
When I pay attention, I clearly see the arresting ways... Read More
What good is Personal or Business Success...if your Health is... Read More
Let's face it! The majority of our time is either... Read More
Q: "My career, though very very stressful, is one that... Read More
A stressless lifestyle? That's very easy to say. Yet it... Read More
Looking for all of the answers in how to manage... Read More
Stress is defined as a response by your body to... Read More
Case #1- Elizabeth, a 40 year old homemaker was always... Read More
Here's an amazing quote from Time magazine:"At birth a baby's... Read More
Are you looking for stress relief? No drugs, no meditation?... Read More
In the body, the stress response is mediated by the... Read More
If you are an anxiety and panic sufferer, then you've... Read More
Health Impacts of StressStress is a funny concept, try to... Read More
Panic.Heart racing. Palms sweating. Breathing rapid and shallow. Mouth dry.... Read More
This is a tool to measure the amount of stress... Read More
Here's a fun little experiment:Take a few seconds and look... Read More
Do you get out of your car with a queasy... Read More
I'm sure you have heard of IBS, irritable bowel syndrome,... Read More
Stress Management |