Everyone talks about how to be successful through hard work and effort. Forget that! I'm going to take a different approach. I'm going to show you how to lose all your hard earned money and fake your own death (I mean destiny), and be successful at it.
Step 1: Be a Sissy-
Being a sissy has nothing to do with physical strength and everything to do with mental strength. I know you want to be successful but you're too afraid to make a commitment to your dream. You're scared to take chances. You're scared to make choices. You want everything to be perfect before you can "take a risk". Yeah, right! That day will come when Hell and my mother's famous spicy hot Sancocho soup freezes (author's note: my money is on Hell freezing over first). Nonetheless, don't do anything until one of the following has occurred: All the stars in the constellation have aligned themselves perfectly, you've spotted a once extinct Dodo bird, or someone absolutely guarantees you that you will not fail. Until one of these things are in place, don't do anything?be a sissy.
Step 2: Listen to Stupid People-
Oh, this is one of my favorite. There are two types of people out there: successful and happy. By successful, I mean someone who has a career and is financially secure. By happy I mean someone who has found their "happy place" and enjoys where they're at in life. The latter has less do with money, and more do to with life style. Knowing this, here's the key: never, I mean NEVER listen to successful or happy people. They'll just make you nauseous with their ideas and strategies for getting what you want out of life. Instead, listen to friends and family members who are either broke or unhappy. That way if you fail, and chances are that you will, you'll at a minimum have them for company. And we know that misery loves company. Also if you fail using their advice, you can always blame it on them (See Rule 9 for more details).
Step 3: Wait for Divine Intervention-
Yes, another strategy on how to lose your money and fake destiny is to simply wait for the 'invisible hand' of fate to pass over you and bless you with immense abundance. Yes, go ahead pray and ask God (whoever and whatever that is to you) to rain down upon you all that you deserve. Sit back, do nothing and wait for something to great to happen. Yes, your needs far outweigh those of people in other countries who are dying from HIV, hunger, violence, etc. Don't feel guilty. Make your demand on God and if you're so inclined, you might want to give Him a deadline because you're in a hurry. But remember, don't lift a finger to help yourself, you might offend Him by being so impatient.
Step 4: Develop a Need to Mimic-
Desmond Morris wrote a fantastic book called "The Human Ape". If you haven't read it, you are depriving yourself of a primitive experience and pleasure. Morris talks about the need for humans to mimic in order to feel accepted or more worthy. So, what I want you to do in order for you to lose your money and fake your destiny is look around you and buy whatever your friends or colleagues are buying. But the extravagant cars, the luxurious museum (I mean house), take all the trips you want to exotic places. What about money? Who cares! The point here is that you want to mimic or copy what every one else is doing. Money and debt are nuisances you shouldn't have to worry about. What about credit card companies? So what you owe them money, they're crooks who already have too much money; they don't need yours.
Step 5: Take advantage of People-
Here's a great tip. Forget about being considerate and to hell with the "golden rule". If you can use somebody, do it. I you can take advantage of a situation, do it. Consequences?! Bah! Why bother with such silly notions; they're so inconvenient. For all you care, you'll probably never have to deal with them again. And if it's in a work environment, all the better, screw them any way you can. They probably deserve it for being so dang na?ve. The basic premise is this, the next time you in a position to really abuse another fellow human being, don't think twice, just do it!
Step 6: Invent Your Own Reality-
Ooh, I like this one. To hell with reality, create your own. When someone says, "You're not being realistic", ignore them they're an idiot. When someone tries to warn you that your overspending and your debts are mounting, just go out and shop some more?you'll feel better. Remember also that money is the root of all evil and no one should have to really save or keep any around for a rainy day. And, even when everyone is telling you you're wrong, ignore them because they ALL can't be right! And more than likely, they simply don't have the same bright, pink outlook on life you have. Dismiss those fools.
Step 7: Never Keep a Commitment Again-
The next time you make a promise, just remember that it really isn't a commitment. A promise is an agreement to do something but you reserve the right to change your mind without notifying the other party (aka The When it's Convenient Rule). And yes, it's OK to over-promise and under-deliver. The Convenient Rule still applies. When you tell someone you'd show up to a meeting or an engagement, remember that it's OK to change your mind, again, without the need to notify the other party. Commitments are so restrictive that you should allow yourself the flexibility to abide by or ignore them whenever you feel like it. What if others complain? They're just being insensitive to your 'spontaneity' and free spirit?.envious bastards.
Step 8: Blame it on the ISM-
The next time things don't go your way or you missed out on some promotion or raise, blame it on an "ISM". There are plenty to choose from. RacISM, SexISM, AgeISM, etc. Remember it's never your responsibility to be create wealth and opportunity. Someone should always look our for your because you've been handicapped (i.e., with an ISM) by the unfairness of society. Someone should also make amends and remunerations for your inconvenience should be made to you. Don't forge to always complain about how "the man" won't let you succeed. And always blame your failing on some corporate guy with a nice suite and tie. They're always guilty of something. They're all liars and cheats waiting to be exposed.
Bonus rule:
Step 9: It's Never Your Problem-
No matter how bad you perform or don't perform at all, it isn't your fault (Corollary to Rule 8). It's never your problem. It's always someone else's deal. And if you can't find a warm body to blame it on, use someone who's dead. Dead people are useful for blaming things on because they can't dismiss the accusation and you feel better since it isn't your fault. If you can't find any dead people to blame it on, use the ultimate trump card, the Universe (or Cosmos). Either one is good enough when it come to blame. Just blame your misfortune on some 'weird existential vibe' thing that can't be defined. And if someone doesn't believe you they're just being insensitive and ignorant of an existence on a 'much higher level' where you can't be held responsible.
Follow these nine rules and I guarantee you that you will lose your money and fake your destiny with GREAT SUCCESS.
Please forward this article; share it with a friend who may need a word of inspiration.
Victor Gonzalez, top Hispanic motivational speaker and author of "The LOGIC of Success". For more info go to: www.thelogicofsuccess.com or by email www.thelogicofsuccess.com
Lincoln Stretch rentals Alsip ..There is one big "secret" to success that can help... Read More
What's holding you back?One of my clients came to me... Read More
One of the keys to being successful in anything you... Read More
If you are like me you have probably lost a... Read More
Success is a word that is much used in our... Read More
Use birthdays and other gift-giving holidays to help reach your... Read More
Everybody suffers rejection at some time or another in their... Read More
How do you land your dream job, win... Read More
Recently, I was asked to write a Top 10 list... Read More
The First step to success is to think and decide... Read More
Far too many of us struggle through life despite more... Read More
Any person who goes through life without experiencing failure is... Read More
In Latin the word means 'to dare'.This word is so... Read More
Have you been struggling for years to accomplish some goals... Read More
Everything you are or ever will be is completely up... Read More
Quote of the month: Am I working to live or... Read More
Self-esteem is very important. It is the way we view... Read More
When you analyze the traits of successful people, you will... Read More
Many people consider reading books a waste of time. It... Read More
(Excerpted from the 1999 Weekend Seminar audio/CD series)Parents, leaders, employers,... Read More
The entrepreneur game is filled with an amazing variety of... Read More
-- The One Pager Shortcut Series --What are the sharpest... Read More
IntroductionSuccess - we all read about it, hear it on... Read More
Our lives and the circumstances we live in are largely... Read More
Hello everybody and a good day (or night !) to... Read More
Western Springs shuttle limo ..Revolution:a sudden, radical, or complete change a fundamental change in... Read More
Sit up straight! You may recall hearing those words as... Read More
We set goals, strive for them and only consider ourselves... Read More
One the most important Self Improvement skills to develop to... Read More
We all want something to look forward to. The best... Read More
Believe it or not, there is a special 3-step formula... Read More
Too often we wait for the 'right time' or 'the... Read More
-- The One Pager Shortcut Series --What are the sharpest... Read More
"Enthusiasm is worth any pot of cream ever offered."Can you... Read More
Nicholas Darvas, escaping his war-torn homeland, Hungary, sought refuge in... Read More
As a golfer and coach, I've been thrilled to watch... Read More
Imagine being firmly committed to your deepest ambitions. Imagine feeling... Read More
The Law of Experience"Success comes from good judgement; good judgement... Read More
If you were to evaluate the major influences in your... Read More
Many people, it seems, have a fear of money. Does... Read More
Once you've made it...throw a Success Shindig! Of course you... Read More
There are times when we feel we should take action,... Read More
What the anteater and otter show us about success?It's been... Read More
Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. ---UnknownAfter so... Read More
If you discovered your speaking career depended on how organized... Read More
"When you talk to yourself, you listen. No matter what... Read More
The Winner's Walk is a key strategy in the sport... Read More
The gambling instinct is in every man or woman. All... Read More
Most dictionary entries would define failure as the simple lack... Read More
A More Effective WayI own a stack of self improvement... Read More
Success |