A friend's doctor said he should lose 10 pounds and so he is trying to break his sugar habit. He generally eats well during the day but his downfall is cookies while watching TV. At an office luncheon when dessert was being served, he said, "No thanks, I don't want any." A well meaning co-worker then foisted dessert on him, shoving it in front of him and saying, "You're doctor is wrong, have some," leaving him staring at the dessert then back to us with a sorrowful look on his face.
His co-worker probably was not out to sabotage him, but more likely was remembering the last time she said no when she really wanted to say yes. She wished someone would have made the decision for her, albeit against her wishes, and then she could have eaten the dessert because it wouldn't be polite to refuse (or some other excuse), so now she's doing him the favor. She is wrong, but that's the way people generally are. We all understand the pain of deprivation and want to make it better for each other.
First, if you do want some dessert, have some, enjoy it and move on with your life. It is not a big deal to have a dessert, even if you're already over full. It's one eating event out of thousands. But when you are being pushed into something you don't want it's no different than being offered drinks when you're underage; peer pressure doesn't stop because you graduate from high school.
If you're making an effort to make better choices, choosing to eat only foods that really appeal to you, and learning to say no when you just don't want any, you can tell the food pusher, "No, thanks," and leave it at that. You don't owe anyone an explanation. You could also take a plate and let it sit there. Most people are so preoccupied with themselves they won't notice whether you're eating. If someone does ask, "Aren't you going to eat your cake," you could say, "In a minute." Keep busy talking and just delay until it's time to go, then discretely set the plate aside.
If you watch the thinner folks at parties you'll notice they talk a lot and eat little. It's difficult to talk and gesture while holding a drink in one hand and a plate of food in the other.
If the food seems to be calling your name and it's becoming more difficult to resist since it's sitting in front of you then simply pretend it is made of plastic, like the display food in a Chinese restaurant. It's not meant to be eaten, just admired. Then admire it all you like.
Why do we need to resort to trickery to make our own food choices? Because food pushers are not going to accept your arguments, no matter how well you state your case, so don't bother fighting a losing battle. You can't change their mind; they want to eat some and they'd feel better if you ate some too. You can't change other people, you can only change yourself.
Remember the next time you feel the urge to push food on someone, food means love in our society, but choice means more. Offer it, and then let it go if they say no.
~~ Kathryn Martyn, Master NLP Practitioner, EFT counselor, author of the free e-book: Changing Beliefs, Your First Step to Permanent Weight Loss, and owner of onemorebite-weightloss.com
Get onemorebite-weightloss.com: Inspirational Mini Lessons Using EFT and NLP for Ending the Struggle with Weight Loss.
Each month I receive hundreds of e-mails from consumers who... Read More
What the Diet Industry Does Not Want You To Know:... Read More
Have you been surfing the web trying to find a... Read More
Getting enough of the good fats will help you lose... Read More
We must all now be familiar with the Atkins Diet.... Read More
In March 2003 our then 13 year old daughter, Helen,... Read More
If you are a fan of horse racing, you are... Read More
So you've decided that you're going to do it.You're sick... Read More
The Psychology of Weight Loss ? Your Approach!We have missed... Read More
Any weight loss or diet plan, including low-carb plans like... Read More
I can't do that Until I Lose This Weight! If... Read More
If you want to reduce your body fat, focus on... Read More
Using healthy low carb recipes are an important part of... Read More
If you've been enjoying life after gastric bypass surgery you... Read More
If you have been watching your weight all year, you... Read More
If anyone knows anything about fitness, it's that a low... Read More
Contrary to common belief, your weight is not really the... Read More
It's calorie-free, inexpensive and easily obtained - yet few people... Read More
Activity means both mental and physical activity.Mental activity is similar... Read More
Obesity and fast foods - there's little doubt about the... Read More
Individuals who are interested in bariatric surgery need to be... Read More
Adaptation is the most important concept I teach. The human... Read More
Many people today are interested in weight loss and weight... Read More
THE 200 POINT SYSTEMWith so many different diets available, how... Read More
What to Do with the Leftovers?Okay, tell me if you've... Read More
Exercising too hardThis is probably the most common mistake. As... Read More
Life is extraordinary filled with wonderful people to show up... Read More
I asked my sister to come to my gym with... Read More
New studies suggested once again that citric fruits including oranges,... Read More
It's the travel time, meaning hours spent sedentary. It prepares... Read More
The best way you can get rid of your pop... Read More
You can overcome the desires of your sweet-tooth by incorporating... Read More
WHAT DOES BEING FIT REALLY MEAN?The "INSIDE-OUT" approach to fitness... Read More
Must We Gain Weight Every WinterIt's that time of year... Read More
Contrary to common belief, your weight is not really the... Read More
Every day, it seems, a new study pertaining to weight... Read More
Although many patients have few problems after bariatric surgery, there... Read More
One alternative method to traditional and tumescent liposuction is mesotherapy.... Read More
WARNING: Don't weight train until after you've lost weight! No,... Read More
It's easy to lose sight of our goals, "Do I... Read More
Most people who want to burn off some excess pounds... Read More
The percentage of Americans who are overweight and obese is... Read More
There are certain eating habits that can make you gain... Read More
From personal experience I have myself like all of you... Read More
Before you try starving yourself or turning to diet drugs... Read More
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, obesity... Read More
Weight loss is an issue that affects men and women... Read More
Have you ever decided to take a trip somewhere relatively... Read More
Over the last twenty five years the most common questioned... Read More
If you are into herbs and natural cures, you've undoubtedly... Read More
Weight Loss |