Dealing with Difficult People--Go Ahead, Rain on My Parade

"And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow."--Jerry Chin

Rain is vital to all life on earth, and is the main way that water from the sky fills our lakes and rivers, and provides nourishment and growth. Most of the time we do not look forward to the rain, but without it, we will most likely not be able to enjoy luscious fruits and vegetables, or experience the warm and moist feeling of green grass as it cushions our bare feet.

Interpersonal conflict is like a rain shower-a small local burst of rain that lasts a short time. Rain showers are usually of light to moderate intensity and likely to start and stop suddenly. You can predict when they occur by the rapid change in the sky's appearance as they approach. The same is true of most interpersonal conflict--those small micro-bursts of anger or disagreement that seem to flare up quickly and cease just as suddenly.

The aphorism rain on my parade reminds us of the unpleasantness of conflict. Yet, some unpleasant occurrences bring about better things. Conflict develops even among the finest of people. Whenever there is disagreement, a difference of opinion, a different approach, a departure from the way we do things around here, there is conflict. These little showers of light to moderate temper or anger are made to last just a short time. Yet, when we approach them the wrong way (and there is a wrong way), they can become full-blown conflict thunderstorms.

Unlike ordinary rain showers, thunderstorms are rain combined with wind and lightning. They form worldwide, spit out deadly lightning, band together to form hurricanes, and can spin up the world's fastest winds inside tornadoes. Been caught in any conflict thunderstorms lately?

THE REAL SECRET

While we cannot control or change others, we can take responsibility for our own actions, attitudes, and behavior. So how do we respond when people want to rain on our parades? Use The U-M-B-R-E-L-L-A:

U = Understand. Make an attempt to understand as well as to be understood. Don't let the other person's difficult behavior preoccupy you; then you can deal with it directly.

M = Manage. Manage conflict while it is occurring. Look for the real issue which is usually found at the root of the problem. Don't allow yourself to be distracted by minor spats or side issues that distract and get in the way.

B = Breathe. Use a variety of stress-reducing strategies when you are in the midst of conflict. Try breathing slowly and deeply to regulate stress producing adrenalin. Take a break when conversations get heated, and above all, control your impulses.

R = Respond. Remain calm and act in a non-defensive and non-reactive way. The ability to be calm in the face of conflict will help you to think more clearly and carefully.

E = Embrace. Go directly to those with whom you disagree or have a conflict. Avoid behind-the-back criticism. If this fails, then ask an objective third-party to act as facilitator in resolving the conflict.

L = Listen. Be quick to listen and when listening do so carefully. Summarize and check out what is heard before responding. Be slow to judge, avoid name-calling, and threatening.

L = Learn. Examine key learnings from the conflict. Conflict, though painful, is necessary for growth and maturity. Ask yourself, "What can I learn here? Do I need to change my behavior or offer an apology?" Enter into each conflict situation with a learning mindset.

A = Accept. Conflict is a normal part of life, so accept that it will happen and most likely happen often. The people we find the most difficult are also those who offer the greatest opportunities for growth.

WHAT ABOUT COMMUNICATION?

Wherever conflict exists, no matter what its cause or reason, communication has played a key role. Poor communication has either initiated the conflict or kept it going. Good communication will lead to a mutually agreeable solution. It promotes a give-and-take open dialogue that focuses on the problem not the emotion.

We all have difficult people in our lives-you know, those folks of radically differing viewpoints who anger, exasperate, frustrate, and nearly drive us out of our minds! Difficult people tend to rain on our parades. Just when things are going well and we're marching in the success procession, a short but violent conflict shower or thunderstorm will often break out. An instinctive response is usually not the best one because we are caught unawares. So we reply back with a storm of our own, and before you know it, a deluge accompanied by hurricane force winds floods our relationships and ruins our parades.

IN THE END, YOU MATTER?

You are responsible for deciding how you will respond to conflict and difficult people. The U-M-B-R-E-L-L-A along with good communication will ensure that you don't get wet!

So, let it rain...It's Just a Parade!

Althea DeBrule is co-owner of RADSGroup Organizational Consultants, a Stamford, CT based firm that helps organizations to increase their effectiveness and individuals to maximize their professional and leadership potential. She has over 30 years demonstrated and celebrated leadership experience both domestically and internationally in human resources and executive development. Entrepreneur and seasoned executive, she has focused throughout her career on helping workers achieve their career goals. For information on how The RADSGroup can help you with your career needs, visit http://www.radsgroup.com/

monthly home cleaning Highland Park ...
In The News:

Google's Motion Assist places animated dots on Pixel screens to combat motion sickness in vehicles, but the Android 17 rollout remains limited.
Moving to a 55+ community can quickly expose your data to scammers and data brokers before you even unpack, putting your whole family at risk.
Amazon Prime Air drone delivery plans to reach nearly 500 U.S. cities by the end of 2026, but your yard and ZIP code may determine eligibility.
The FBI reports nearly $21 billion in cybercrime losses for 2025, up 26%, as AI scams make fake voices and identities more convincing than ever.
Uber teen accounts now feature live video streaming from the driver's camera, but encrypted recordings stay on Uber's servers for up to 14 days.
Router firewalls and software firewalls serve different roles in protecting your home Wi-Fi from unwanted traffic and suspicious connections.
A Chrome extension with 70,000 users and a 4.7-star rating began injecting fake update warnings after a threat actor acquired and weaponized it.
Amazon's Alexa+ rolls out free to Fire TV devices across the U.S., but hands-free microphones and stored voice data raise key privacy questions.
Meta's new teen accounts settlement sets a default two-hour daily limit on Instagram and Facebook, plus night mode and school mode restrictions.
The CareCloud data breach exposed Social Security numbers, banking information and medical records belonging to more than 3.75 million people.
Waymo reveals its custom 5-nanometer chip and dual computing systems designed to take over instantly if the robotaxi's primary computer fails.
Identity theft now includes account takeover, phone hijacking and payment card exposure. Here's what to look for in identity theft protection services.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
The FBI and Justice Department seized domains tied to QScan and QTRouter, tools allegedly used by China-linked hackers to breach NASA and other agencies.
Uber Eats drone delivery launches later this year through a Zipline partnership, starting in Dallas and Houston with a goal of one million daily flights.
Medicare Open Enrollment scams start with data broker targeting months before October. Learn why August is the time to remove your personal info.
The World Humanoid Robot Games' crashes show how far the technology still needs to go to be useful, "Survivor" reality TV star and robotics scientist Christian Hubicki says.
X-Humanoid's TianGong Ultra ran 100 meters in 9.32 seconds at Beijing's World Humanoid Robot Games, beating last year's winner by more than half.
A tap-to-pay charity scam is turning small $15 or $20 donations into charges of nearly $5,000, with victims losing thousands before they notice.
Kurt Knutsson shares seven emergency preparedness lessons from surviving Hurricane Katrina inside a New Orleans hotel as conditions turned desperate.
A contractor stored credentials in a Google Doc set to "Anyone with the link," and Google Search autocomplete eventually surfaced the password string.
New Orleans 911 uses Carbyne AI to triage repeat auto crash calls, but strict limits keep human call-takers in control of all other emergencies.
A single card skimmer can generate $1 million in stolen funds, and Secret Service video shows criminals installing them in under two seconds.
ChatGPT, Meta AI and Google now use memory, connected apps and past chats to personalize ads and responses in ways most users overlook today.
MagicalAuth by Glide.id uses cryptographic SIM credentials to verify bank logins without sending SMS OTP codes that scammers can intercept or phish.

Vacation Your Way to Success!

All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy... Read More

3 Steps to Defining Success and Defining Your Future

Q: Are you a success?A: Its all in how you... Read More

The Fuel That Drives The Ultimate Lifestyle

In a recent article (What is The Ultimate Lifestyle), I... Read More

What Constitutes a Good Life?

The ultimate expression of life is not a paycheck. The... Read More

You Know How, But Do You Know Why?

An unexamined life is not worth living ? SocratesAll too... Read More

Success Through The Eyes Of A Child

Adults, with eyes to see, can learn so much about... Read More

The First And Inevitable Step To Success

Many people ask me how they can be more successful.The... Read More

If You Compare, Beware!

Picture this scene: Little Johnny's mother places a large piece... Read More

Stop Juggling, and Start Achieving! Three Steps to the Top!

Want more success in your business or professional life? Here's... Read More

The Gift Of Success

Often just one self-help principle can increase your power to... Read More

If NASA Can Launch The Space Shuttle, Then You Can Become A Successnaut

The recent mission of the space shuttle Discovery is NASA's... Read More

Let It Be You

Each and every day, there are people all around the... Read More

The Human Instincts

The gambling instinct is in every man or woman. All... Read More

The Impossible Dream

The 72,500 men, women and children sat in an uncomfortable... Read More

Harness Mind Chatter and Make it Work for You!

"When you talk to yourself, you listen. No matter what... Read More

The DNA of Top Achievers

Of course by now we are all becoming aware of... Read More

Reaping a Multiple Reward

For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards. That's one... Read More

People Are Who They Want To Be

Choice isn't always a matter of being able to choose... Read More

10 Tips on How to Get the Best from Changing Situations

It can be great to do something new 'for a... Read More

Magical Houseplants

Whenever I'm feeling stuck in a rut, I go out... Read More

Associate with Losers And Youre Courting Failure

"You will be the same person in five years except... Read More

Is This Your Time To Take Action?

If you are sick and tired of the dreaming phase... Read More

The Major Key to Your Better Future is You

Of all the things that can have an effect on... Read More

?Defining and Feeling Successful? (However you define success)

Formula For SuccessThe winners in this life know the rules... Read More

Habits and Success

I got a big reminder over the last couple of... Read More

elite cleaning services Buffalo Grove ...