On my first newspaper assignment as a critic, I was well prepared to dish it out. I was less prepared to take it. Imagine my surprise when my witty, well-crafted critique drew a smattering of letters filled with name-calling and nasty words. It stung. Could the critic handle criticism? I discovered that with some emotional discipline and introspection, I could not only handle criticism, I could grow from it. Here's how.
Allow yourself to feel hurt--briefly. It's natural to be shocked and hurt by criticism. Recognize it, feel it but don't allow yourself to wallow in it. Knowing you have a technique for dealing with criticism allows you to put the breaks on hurt feelings as you move on to the next step.
Consider the source. All critics can be divided into three categories. The critic can be a crank, someone that lives in pain and feels the need to spread it around. The critic can be a self-appointed expert. Such people feel they have a duty to point out other people's shortcomings. Or the critic can be a mentor, someone whose thoughtful, objective opinion can help you improve your performance.
Deal with it. If your critic is a crank, recognize that such people attack anyone or anything that draws their attention. Say a prayer for them as you put their remarks through your mental paper shredder. If your critic is a self-appointed expert, consider their motivation. Does it seem they honestly want to help you improve? Or is their purpose to disparage you so they can feel superior? In either case, their criticism may hold a grain of truth. Be open to looking for it. But if you sense your critic needs to drag you down so they can lift themselves up, raise your emotional barriers. Consider any aspect of their criticism that seems valid, but don't allow them to shake your sense of self-worth. Hopefully, your critic is the third type, a mentor, someone whose opinion you can respect. Their criticism is well thought-out and deserves your serious attention. Consider what they say and see if it offers you an opportunity to improve an actual flaw.
Move on. Take what valid points you can from your critic. Decide whether or not you want to use the criticism as an opportunity for self-improvement, then move on. If you find yourself dwelling on criticism, allowing it to drain your energy and confidence, shut the door on it. Visualize your critic, or their letter, framed in a doorway. Imagine yourself shutting the door with a satisfying slam, hearing the click of the lock and walking away. See the door getting smaller and smaller until it disappears in the past. This signals your self on many different levels that you're closing the door on the event and moving on.
Writers of any kind will always be met with criticism. You don't have to like it, but you can refuse to be wounded by it. Learning to handle criticism in a calm and self-confident spirit will help you grow as a writer and as a person.
BONNIE BOOTS (http://www.bonnieboots.com)is an award-winning writer and designer who says all writers should show off their talent by wearing their Write Side Out! Her wise and witty product line of gear that shows the world you're a writer is at http://www.bonnieboots.com
Chicago limo Skokie ..First drafts are for getting down the ideas. Anna Jacobs... Read More
Creative Writing Tips ?It should.A theme is a one-line explanation... Read More
Reading through a writer's notebook or journal is like discovering... Read More
It's easy to feel overwhelmed by marketing. First, there's so... Read More
You have just completed a draft of an article. It... Read More
Whether you are working for a small business, large corporation,... Read More
The Blogfest 2005 Writing Contest has only been running for... Read More
1 - Join a reading or writing group. Ask members... Read More
I asked several writers how long it took them to... Read More
It would be very selfless or noble of me to... Read More
If your dream is to get published, the chance is... Read More
Are you ready to abandon your short stories? Before you... Read More
The rejection letter says: "Your story, on the surface, appears... Read More
Set your journal or diary where you will see it... Read More
What do you mean, you don't have a website yet?... Read More
Open any book on 'how to write,' and somewhere you... Read More
Recently I was watching the Oprah show and it was... Read More
Ah, the age-old writer's debate--to outline or not to outline?Outlines... Read More
"If you're like me, than I'm sure you're pretty familiar... Read More
What am I going to write about?Which topic is the... Read More
Chaos and confusion come when established rules and procedures are... Read More
Griselda spent hours polishing up her resume. No detail was... Read More
Readers often send me interesting and exciting e-mails about the... Read More
William Faulkner, the great Mississippi writer, said, "The tools I... Read More
Compiling a list of the history's ten best writers is... Read More
limo O'Hare Bonfield ..A certified proofreader is one that has taken a few... Read More
Do you have trouble getting your thoughts and ideas down... Read More
Beginning writers often tend to think of a book as... Read More
If you're targeting an educated, more affluent audience with your... Read More
Have you ever considered writing a book? If so, maybe... Read More
Sometimes there is confusion about the exact meaning of the... Read More
We all know people who ramble. They include every boring... Read More
How do you describe a scene without slowing down the... Read More
Why is it that so many people don't take writing-as-a-job... Read More
1. Turning your idea into a bookWith non-fiction books the... Read More
First, let's tackle the question that is uppermost in many... Read More
Structure in the form of frameworks, work processes and goals... Read More
For many authors just starting out, it can be a... Read More
Chaos and confusion come when established rules and procedures are... Read More
A QUERY LETTER is written to an editor or agent... Read More
A few days ago, I critiqued a chapter for a... Read More
Obtaining the skills for writing good business correpondence is important;... Read More
Is your book nearly finished, finished, published, or even in... Read More
Mixing and mingling with industry professionals is an opportunity that... Read More
Rudolph Flesch, a pioneering advocate of readability, put great stock... Read More
What a lack of research could do to you.When creating... Read More
Great writing transports one vicariously to realms that the reader... Read More
Productivity begins by recognizing and valuing your brilliance, time, and... Read More
Whether you are writing a magazine article, composing a press... Read More
During my 25-year career in a variety of professional positions... Read More
Writing |