Yesterday, I'd just gotten comfortable at my favorite table in my neighborhood Starbucks when I noticed two 70-somethings seated at the table next to me. Although they sat mere inches from one another, they communicated as if they were standing on opposite ends of a dark mountain tunnel.
"I'M WILLING TO GO FAR FOR GOOD CHICKEN," bellowed the gentleman in yellow pants on the left.
"YOU DO LOVE YOUR CHICKEN," agreed his companion, a man whose enormous black glasses made him look like a political cartoon.
I smiled at the poultry lover in a subtle I-like-chicken-too kind of way. Then I removed a fresh yellow highlighter from my pocket, took a sip of my latte, and began to read through the folder of interview notes I'd brought with me. I read one sentence before my concentration was interrupted.
"KNOW WHO HAS SURPRISINGLY GOOD CHICKEN?" queried the man with the glasses.
"WHO?" asked Yellow Pants eagerly.
"RED LOBSTER."
"RED LOBSTER???"
"SWEAR TO GOD."
Yellow Pants couldn't accept this information. He did, however, agree the shrimp platter was second to none. Yellow Pants then went on to explain, in stupefying detail, the exact location of every good chicken restaurant within ninety miles of the Denver metropolitan area.
I put down my highlighter and began drumming my fingers on the table wondering how long the chicken chatter would continue. I looked around and noticed two men in dark suits sitting at a table on my right. They were tapping into their Palm Pilots, jotting notes onto a legal pad, and strategizing about an upcoming sales meeting. They were doing exactly what people are supposed to be doing at Starbucks: working.
As I listened to the older gentlemen on my left and the salesmen on my right it dawned on me that the biggest difference between retirement and the working years is the ability -- and desire -- to talk about chicken. At length. I wish I had time to think about chicken, I mutter to myself as I jam my folder into my briefcase and head off in search of a quieter table. But I'm busy. I have deadlines. I have to multitask whenever possible. Even my idle time is filled with projects and purpose.
Take running, for example. When I go for a run, instead of admiring the daffodils that are starting to push through the hard-packed winter dirt, I try to generate new story ideas and make sure I keep my heart rate at 70% of maximum for at least 25 minutes.
When I go to the dentist, instead of wasting time in the waiting room by reading about the latest celebrity breakup, I compare the allocation of my stock portfolio against the allocations suggested in Money magazine. No sense wasting a good 20 minutes.
I'm not like this person I know who just converted to part-time and now leaves work at one o'clock everyday to work on his golf game. If I took off at one o'clock, I'd expect myself to write a novel. Or learn Japanese. By dinner.
I didn't realize how bad this constant do-think-plan mentality was until last night when I found myself alone in a restaurant waiting for a friend. I didn't have a notebook so I couldn't jot notes or plan the next day's activities. I didn't have a cell phone so I couldn't check voice mail or leave impressive after-hours messages for my editors. I hadn't even brought a report or magazine to read.
So, I read the menu. Four times. I looked out the window. I read the menu again. I asked for a glass of water. I read the menu again. I checked my watch. I started to sweat and within the space of minutes, I'd wrapped my arms around my waist and begun to take deep sucking breaths like a drug addict curled in a darkened corner of an abandoned warehouse.
By the time my friend arrived fifteen minutes later I was utterly disconsolate. Not because she was late but because I'd been forced to spend fifteen minutes -- 900 whole seconds -- idle and alone with my thoughts. There were things I could have been doing, should have been doing. But I went to the restaurant unprepared. The time had been wasted.
After I explained my dismay to my friend -- who was not nearly as apologetic for her tardiness as I thought she should have been -- she looked at me and asked, gently, "Why did you think you had to do anything? Quiet time is good thing, you know."
And then it dawned on me. The ability to cogitate on things like chicken and Red Lobster are not a side effect of one's employment status; they are a function of one's perspective. My friend was right: idle time is not wasted time. Taking time out, even for 15 minutes, allows you to reflect on your life, generate new ideas and appreciate things like chicken and the many ways it can be cooked and how many other animals, when cooked, taste like chicken. It's why people take vacations and have Sundays off and why there are wonderful things in the world like books and plays and champagne and hiking trails. Idle time may not be good for our careers, but it's essential to our souls.
So here's my challenge: for the next week try to take time every day to be alone with your thoughts. Hide your to-do list. Turn off the radio in your car. Look at the clouds. Go to bed a half-hour earlier without a book. Do something because, well, just because. Then, when you've figured out how to be idle -- how to do or think or talk about anything that pleases you even for a brief amount of time every day -- let me know how it goes. I'll be with the two old guys at this great new chicken restaurant down the street.
Copyright, 2005, Shari Caudron.
Shari Caudron is an award-winning columnist, writing coach, and author of "What Really Happened," a collection of humorous stories about the lessons life teaches you when you least expect it. Shari regularly delivers speeches to women's groups about how to transform ordinary experiences into opportunities for personal growth. Website: http://www.sharicaudron.com E-mail: http://www.sharicaudron.com
quick home cleaning Arlington Heights ..Zak is my three-year old godson. He is the apple... Read More
Perhaps it is merely semantics, but an underlying problem I... Read More
"Slaves to the clock" was the cover story in the... Read More
Whenever I've worked on 'de-cluttering' my living or working space,... Read More
Do your dishes really need to be dried, or could... Read More
"I find it interesting that the very cape I tried... Read More
I used to think video game addictions were a joke... Read More
If you work from home, you know the kind of... Read More
As each day passes, and more and more things need... Read More
If you feel like your life moves faster than a... Read More
Many of the world's most driven and successful people sleep... Read More
A simple kitchen gadget is transforming my life. I don't... Read More
There are the golden rules that apply to time. If... Read More
"Time management" is a myth. Time ticks by, whether you... Read More
We live in a world where more is expected of... Read More
One question a lot of people ask me recently is:... Read More
Most of us know how to manage our time. It... Read More
Increased productivity, the ability to get more value for our... Read More
Are you a worrier? Do you frequently spend time and... Read More
"Time is what we need the most and what we... Read More
"If you control your time, you control your life" -... Read More
My husband and I recently returned from a trip to... Read More
Let's say that you have a software project that's under... Read More
Sometime ago, my lovely wife woke me up in the... Read More
Time is wealth;Time is health; Time is power; Time is... Read More
disinfecting cleaning services Wilmette ..In this fast and crazy world, we want to multi-task... Read More
How do you manage your time? Or is the more... Read More
My husband and I recently returned from a trip to... Read More
1. Do tasks less frequentlyClean house every 10 days rather... Read More
What keeping time really means is...being on time!You know, there... Read More
Isn't it amazing that some people can produce huge results... Read More
"It's just been one of those days?I can't seem to... Read More
How do you eat two elephants? The same way you... Read More
Ever feel that you spend too much time shoring up... Read More
If you're like most people, you want to get better... Read More
Frustration is when an obstacle blocks your ability to achieve... Read More
If you operate any kind of home business, you must... Read More
Do you wish you could work less and play more?... Read More
If you have ever missed an appointment, forgotten to pick... Read More
Does choosing which time we do an activity really make... Read More
"You will never find time for anything. You must make... Read More
41 practical and quick ways to get on top of... Read More
Here's some time management tips to try:1) Set strict office... Read More
In this world there is something more precious than gold.... Read More
Recently I was working with a new client who had... Read More
If you have spent any time at all working at... Read More
I'm sure we've all had the experience of having a... Read More
The techies could do a lot more to make our... Read More
Whenever I've worked on 'de-cluttering' my living or working space,... Read More
What would you say to me if I told you... Read More
Time Management |