Ever wonder what happened to the family dinner hour? Or for that matter the family dinner half hour? Monday is Soccer Practice, Tuesday is Piano lesson, Wednesday is Church Activities, Thursday is a Soccer Game, Friday a birthday party to attend. A number of events will fill up the weekend. Do you feel like a professional scheduler and taxi driver? Are you finding yourself increasingly irritable as you go from one activity to the next? Maybe you and your children are overscheduled.
As a coach and family therapist I see more and more people wanting to find
balance in their lives. In the past few years I have seen a marked increase in children with anxiety and depression. Children are now saying they are 'stressed out'. I remember one child in particular who just wanted to play a board game with his parents, the only family assignment was to play the board game. The family did not have 'time' to play the game. Children no longer seem to have time to goof off and just be children - goof off time is not on the schedule.
As parents we need to guard our children and ourselves to protect our children's unscheduled time to be children. Children need time to create their own games and also to learn to entertain themselves. Children often want us to entertain them or the television instead of figuring out how to play by themselves. I would hazard a guess that some of your fondest memories as a child were playing out in the backyard with some friends and really doing nothing in particular. Just laughing, playing, talking or 'being'.
Ten Suggestions to keep your family from being overscheduled:
1. Each child in the family has one outside activity (i.e. sports, music lessons) besides church activities. (If you have a big family even this may be difficult.)
2. If your child wants to add an activity they may consider giving up the current activity in exchange for the new one.
3. Set family nights on your calendar. Order a pizza and play board games. No one can schedule anything on family night.
4. Help your child learn to say "No" and help set appropriate limits on their activities away from home.
5. Do not say "Yes" to any new activity for yourself or child till you have weighed the costs (i.e. financial, emotional, loss of family time, etc.)
6. Assess your irritability quotient. Do you find yourself frequently saying, "Hurry up, we are going to be late?" How can you slow down? What can you give up?
7. Resolve to eat dinner together as a family at least 3 - 5 times a week, even if this is sandwiches before you head out to a game or lesson.
8. Schedule "goof-off" time for your family and children. Give your child down time to explore a hobby or play outside.
9. Set priorities for your family. How many hours a week do you want to be together as a family?
10. Take time as a family to enjoy God's creation away from home. Examples: Go to a park, go for a bike ride, go hiking, etc.
As Christian parents we are modeling for our children how to handle stress and how to balance our time. What lessons are we teaching our children? The Bible tell us in Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God..." I'm afraid in our hurried society we are teaching children to "Be harried and know that I am God." We all need down time and time to answer the many beautiful, challenging questions our children have about God and our world. Make the time to slow down and enjoy the gift of your children.
? 2004 Kimberly Chastain
About the Author
Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping Christian women make the most of their lives. She is the author of the on-line course, "I Can't Say No" and Pearls of Encouragement for Christian Working Moms, a free e-book. If you suffer from "I Can't Say 'No" Syndrome, visit Kimberly's site today for the details on an exciting email course that's sure to set you free! http://www.christianworkingmom.com/online.htm.
The Text Information Box above MUST be included for reprint privileges. You may reprint this article in it's entirety with the attached text box.
Ever wonder what happened to the family dinner hour? Or... Read More
Michael Shermer speaks with the energy and passion of an... Read More
Human beings are blessed with a unique gift: the gift... Read More
The more we worry about money, and who's asking for... Read More
Most of life can be said to be bad, or... Read More
The deeper beauty of spring is its process. In winter's... Read More
It is so obvious that God works and thinks on... Read More
Anyone who tells you that the path to self-actualization is... Read More
Symbols and symbolism are popular in almost every civilisation, culture... Read More
You are a spiritual being. You recognize something in you... Read More
Sounds like a tall order doesn't it? But I think... Read More
You will become as great as your dominant aspiration...If you... Read More
The Evil Eye has been around since the beginning of... Read More
What does it take to live life holistically?It definitely does... Read More
I beheld the sky and its wonders and saw AstonishmentI... Read More
"Ask and it shall be given" is a phrase we... Read More
Lately In my email newsletters (available for FREE at http://www.ChristThroughMe.com... Read More
"He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written... Read More
The bible tells a story about four men who sat... Read More
In an edition of Reader's Digest, I stumbled upon a... Read More
It was my intention to explain the word "simple," and... Read More
The question isn't, "Is there life after death."Rather, the question... Read More
A year ago, a beautiful woman came to see me.... Read More
The human race had their beginning, and I had mine... Read More
"Spirit is beyond the void of space. This realm, beyond... Read More
top rated cleaning service Arlington Heights ...Sometimes trying to be spiritual holds us back from actually... Read More
What is a Christian? According to The American Heritage? Dictionary... Read More
Let me say that marketing can be a corrupting experience.... Read More
All of my life I had heard, read and sang... Read More
God !"My son will be brought up in a place... Read More
An angel can be your best friend. Angels have been... Read More
Recently I was watching a re-run of "Everybody Loves Raymond".... Read More
I know eyebrows are probably raising about now, but let... Read More
Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup) (marine cornel) YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE... Read More
When I first heard Donnie McClurkin's song, "We Fall Down... Read More
Over the past few years I have watched the popularity... Read More
It happens to us all from time to time, especially... Read More
Natural laws exist that serve to maintain order in the... Read More
When my dad was nearing the end of his life... Read More
I am not enlightened, and yet,... Read More
The deeper beauty of spring is its process. In winter's... Read More
(Channelled)Roy, what a marvellous job you are doing on your... Read More
What the Animals Tell Us"I am the Sun's son. I... Read More
John Eldredge writes in his book Waking the Dead, "God... Read More
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances,... Read More
Since I awoke from my three month coma in August... Read More
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself... Read More
Five verses specify that we are to live by faith.... Read More
God poetry is one of my favorite genres, although I... Read More
During moments of helplessness, there is always one thing that... Read More
Spirituality |