Recently while waiting for our lunch to be served in a nearby restaurant, my husband Michael and I were discussing our son's upcoming science fair project. Michael was describing the steps that my son should follow to complete the assignment. While Michael was going through this elaborate process, I diligently tried to follow what he was saying, but I sat there completely clueless. As I struggled to gain a better understanding of what he was talking about, my normally affable husband started to show distinct sings of irritation. His unspoken message was 'what's wrong with you, why don't you understand me?" He then proceeded to draw his plan on a napkin in an effort to get his brilliant idea into my dense head. It worked. When Michael started to show me what he was describing, I was able to easily understand his ideas.
People often have problems when they communicate with each other. The communication process is very complex and there are many opportunities for breakdowns to occur. As a result, people can become frustrated, instructions are not carried out correctly, people get offended, and conflict can occur. You can minimize these problems and increase the odds that others will understand you by following these simple steps:
When he finally began to write things down, it was as if a light bulb had gone off in Tammi's brain. Her eyes cleared up, she shook her head up and down at key point and it was obvious by her non-verbal feedback that she was beginning to understand the salesman's presentation. Use non-verbal cues to determine if the person understands you. If not, try showing her what you mean or getting her emotionally involved in what you are saying.
While it isn't possible to completely eliminate communication problems, by following these steps you can minimize misunderstandings, reduce frustrations, and achieve better outcomes. As for Michael, he's learned to draw pictures for me when we talk and now I understand him just fine.
About The Author
Della Menechella is a speaker, author, and trainer who inspires people to achieve greater success from the inside out. She is a contributing author to Thriving in the Midst of Change and the author of the videotape The Twelve Commandments of Goal Setting. She can be reached at della@dellamenechella.com. Subscribe to free Peak Performance Pointers e-zine - send blank e-mail to della@dellamenechella.com.
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