=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. Burk
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-
I'd like to invite you to consider a powerful concept. This concept is essential--we must learn how to master it if we want to experience the levels of joy, happiness, love and prosperity that are our birthright. Many of us, however, resist this concept. We use it sparingly, if at all, and occasionally, we won't even consider it as an option. In fact, for many of us, this concept is so emotionally charged that I hesitate to even name it, because if I call it anything other than the "f-word" it could put our egos on high alert.
You see, in many cases, avoiding this concept is the ego's front line defense--an effort to protect us from experiencing pain. The ego believes that if we embraced the "f-word" we would be defenseless at best, and at worst, we would be destroyed completely. Of course, it doesn't help that most of us have a somewhat ego- and fear-based understanding of the "f-word" that makes it less than appealing. The truth is that embracing the "f-word" is the secret to experiencing genuine freedom in our lives.
So, what is the "f-word"? Forgiveness.
In order to improve our lives, our relationships, and our reality, we must learn and practice forgiveness. We must forgive freely, liberally, and often. We must forgive everything and everyone--especially the people we are the most reluctant to forgive. But let's take a few moments to consider the true nature of forgiveness.
Guy Williams, a friend of mine who also happens to be a minister of Religious Science, suggested this take on the nature of forgiveness. Forgiveness simply means to give as before. When we are angry with someone, when we harbor resentment towards someone, we have stopped giving to him or her. We no longer give that person our love or our compassion. They have betrayed us and caused us pain. And we know what happens anytime we have a painful experience, right? Our egos immediately create a new frame and a new belief in an effort to protect us from experiencing that pain again in the future.
Our egos are reluctant to accept the truth that sometimes unpleasant and painful experiences are unavoidable. Our egos need to believe that they can protect us. Our egos need a scapegoat--something (or someone) concrete that can be identified, isolated and avoided. Holding onto our anger and resentment keeps us separate from the person or persons who betrayed us. This, in turn, reinforces the illusion that we are separate from those individuals, and distances us from the truth that there is no separation: We are all aspects of All That Is. The less we remember the truth of who we are, the more our essential spiritual and life lessons seem to present challenges rather than opportunities. Everyone always does the best they can at any given time, and that's all we can ever expect.
It's worth noting that when we choose to hold a grudge and to remain angry, we carry the pain of the betrayal with us. We experience a small amount of pain each time we think of it. The ego actually wants us to experience this pain, because the little pain will serve to remind us how important it is to avoid the big pain. And the only way to avoid the big pain is to protect ourselves from close, supportive relationships with those who have hurt or betrayed us.
Frequently, the person that we most need to forgive is our self. We betray ourselves each time we listen to the ego and forget the truth of who we are. And the more we betray ourselves, the more our egos try to protect us (from ourselves, yet!) by strengthening the illusion of separation from the Source. And of course, the more we believe the illusion of separation, the more we betray ourselves, and experience pain. The way to break out of this vicious circle is to forgive ourselves--to "give as before." We must learn to express unconditional love and compassion for ourselves. As we experience this love and compassion, we will reconnect with our true selves. And the more we're able to forgive ourselves, the more we're able to forgive others.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-
Kevin B. Burk is the author of The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life. Visit http://www.everyrelationship.com for a FREE report on creating AMAZING Relationships.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-
Airbnb cleaning service Arlington Heights ...The following article is an exploration of the Spring holiday... Read More
I find myself floating on a cloud as heavenly music... Read More
Spending 'Quiet Time' with the LordFrom the beginning of my... Read More
You know that the Bible tells us a lot about... Read More
There I was living in a tiny bedroom in my... Read More
Last month, one of my readers needed a new car.... Read More
Several years ago after I presented a workshop entitled "Spirituality... Read More
We have a proclivity to think of individuals and nations... Read More
If I speak in the tongues of men and of... Read More
Oceans... There's water in 'em! :-)It may seem a bit... Read More
The practice of meditating on loving-kindness may be over two... Read More
We shamans are a strange breed.....often we tend to isolate... Read More
You decide! We are often asked to make decisions. Decision... Read More
"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and... Read More
As you will see I the Scripture verse I will... Read More
There is no such thing as a coincidence. Albert Einstein... Read More
Want more peace and joy in your life? Daily stress... Read More
"This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as... Read More
Our Creator is an infinitely loving and generous provider -... Read More
Why do bad things happen to good people? Surely this... Read More
Is life challenging you to take a bigger leap? Are... Read More
Self-actualization comes down to three basic premises: this is who... Read More
It is within us to... Read More
Ever wonder what happened to the family dinner hour? Or... Read More
I would like to share my experience, working with the... Read More
same day cleaning service Highland Park ...This statement sounds incredible. ASK and it shall be given.... Read More
Listen to the sound of silence. Enjoy the peace and... Read More
God made humans in his image but these days very... Read More
A lot of times when I am reading people on... Read More
Every workday, five days a week, I take the light... Read More
"It's a big challenge. It's a journey into the unknown.... Read More
In my work as a Medical Intuitive, I come across... Read More
In the game of billiards there are two things you... Read More
In the movie "A Beautiful Mind" John Nash (played by... Read More
After 6 years, I left an abusive relationship with an... Read More
Come on now!? Really? This is going too far, you... Read More
The Key to True Love...Do you long for love?Most of... Read More
Rose Ann Schwab is an internationally and world renowned professional... Read More
Anything can be used for divination; coins, tea leaves, cards,... Read More
Prayer from a child's simple bedtime prayer, to the prayers... Read More
Five verses specify that we are to live by faith.... Read More
Most of us think of what a wonderful world this... Read More
We all know that the best laid plans of mice... Read More
Talked to an interesting person today at a coffee shop,... Read More
The Bible tells us that we need to be led... Read More
ADDICTION: - There are numerous obsessions and addictions which prevent... Read More
I have a confession.I used to have doubts about God's... Read More
As we walk these halls of Life viewing the world... Read More
I cringed lower into the seat of my grey metal... Read More
Why do we have an Ego?Almost all spiritual guides say... Read More
Spirituality |