Home
>
Weight Loss
>
When a Parent has WLS: What to Tell Our Chubby Children

When a Parent has WLS: What to Tell Our Chubby Children

We know that children are becoming obese at an alarming rate. We know fat kids become fat adults. We know that obesity is the second leading cause of preventable death in this county. We know that obese children will be faced with huge health risks that will compromise their quality of life as adults. We know that obese children are the target of hate and ridicule by other children. We know that fat children are shunned by their peers. And we know it is the parent's responsibility to make sure their children do not become obese dooming them to lifetime of disease, heartache and suffering.

One of the most painful things about obesity is we seem to get it from our parents and pass it along to our children. I know a woman, Diane, who could not celebrate her bariatric success because she had a teenage daughter who came home from school day after day to hug a giant pillow and cry - her classmates called her "Fatty-Cathy". Cathy is fat, or as her parents like to call her "stout." Racked with guilt Diane asked "How in the world can I celebrate my weight loss when my own daughter is suffering? I feel pretty guilty about it. I'm her mother. I have fed her and taught her bad eating habits. I've actually written notes to excuse her from physical education classes. I gave her my genetic background, then I made the worst of it."

As if "normal" teen-parent relationships aren't difficult enough, imagine having a mother beside herself with guilt and a daughter angry and jealous over her mother's weight loss. When I asked Cathy how she felt about her mother's new figure and improved health she was angry. She said, "How do you think I feel? She is wearing the cute clothes my friends wear and I have to order fat lady clothes from a catalog. I wear my dad's old raincoat because we couldn't find a cute coat in my size. How do you think I feel?" she wept.

Even though she has pleaded earnestly to have surgery, Cathy's parents are strongly opposed to the 16-year-old having bariatric surgery. They believe the family can learn from Diane's life-long battle with obesity and make small steps to improve Cathy's health, ultimately resulting in weight loss.

They are cooking healthy meals together and monitoring portion sizes. They are learning to read nutritional labels. There are no more late night pizza deliveries and "super-size" is off limits. Diane and Cathy have identified that they are emotional eaters. Now they are talking about their negative emotions rather than fostering them with high-calorie, high-fat out-of-control eating. They are working to improve physical fitness as well, walking together three nights a week. Diane doesn't want bariatric surgery to be Cathy's last and only hope. "I want to make things better for her, I don't want her to suffer like I did all those years. I want to correct what I've done wrong by feeding her too much of the wrong things. I don't want her to go through surgery. "

Cathy has reluctantly made lifestyle changes along with her parents. After three months of improved eating habits and exercising she is down 10 pounds. Her BMI is 39, she started at 41, just at the cusp of qualifying for surgery. Dad has joined the fight against fat as well. He's lost almost 20 pounds. "I'm proud of her," said Diane, "and I tell her everyday. I think we are getting closer. I want so much to save her from feeling the pain."

We know that children are copycats: they are more likely to do what their parents do, not what their parents tell them to do. Given that, Cathy's parents are doing the right thing for her by adopting a new family lifestyle that will ultimately improve the quality of life for all of them. Bad eating habits are not impossible to break and exercise is not impossible to incorporate into our daily lives. Diane's surgery was simply the catalyst this family needed to overhaul years of destructive habits.

Cathy's parents have realized, by way of their own health crises, that eating is one of the most fundamental health-related behaviors that can be controlled. They are working together to improve the quality of life for the entire family.

As for the emotional issues: Diane's guilt and Cathy's jealousy; they are doing their best to work through those issues on their own. But Diane admits it is stressful at times and family counseling may be in order. "Years down the road I don't want us to be a mother and daughter who never speak to each other because we didn't resolve these issues. I think there is a chance here for us to become closer."

Kaye Bailey is a weight loss surgery success story having maintained her health and goal weight for 5+ years. An award winning journalist, she is the author and webmaster of http://www.livingafterwls.com and http://www.livingafterwls.com - fresh & insightful content is added daily, check in often.

shuttle from Midway Glen Ellyn ..

In The News:

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Emails instructing you to reset your password for an account may be legitimate, or they may be scams. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.

Northrop Grumman's Manta Ray uncrewed underwater vehicle aims to revolutionize undersea missions — it glides through the ocean without human assistance.

Learn how to work Google's calendar application to streamline and organize your daily tasks from technology expert Kim Komando.

If you do not want Facebook to have automatic access to your private photos, follow our tips to protect yourself. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson shows you how.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson goes into detail about Apple’s recent iOS update that allows iPhone users to instantly translate spoken language simply by using the Action Button.

Safeguarding your digital life with a reliable physical backup isn't just a precaution, it's a necessity. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides the essential backup checklist.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how a Redditor exposed false recycling claims at their apartment, highlighting a report that only 21% of U.S. recyclables are processed.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson offers a travel toolkit featuring five technology tools to help you with booking flights and hotels for your summer vacation.

The bubble behind the clock on your iPhone can appear in different colors. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains what each of those colors mean.

Scammers are using the power of artificial intelligence to mimic voices of people and are using the fake voices to commit crimes, like kidnappings.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains the science behind the Invisibility Shield, a 6-foot shield that makes people become invisible.

The International Olympic Committee on Friday announced plans to use AI in various Olympic aspects, including athlete identification, training and judging.

Tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains an easy trick to avoid squinting while working or surfing the web by zooming in on your personal computer.

Streaming giant Roku has recently been targeted by a pair of cyberattacks, and the company confirmed over a half million Roku accounts were compromised.

The Land Aircraft Carrier combines an all-terrain, six-wheeled vehicle with a two-seat aircraft, which features electric vertical takeoff and landing.

The European Union has sent TikTok a "request for information" on the video sharing platform's newest app, TikTok Lite, under the Digital Services Act, with the aim to clean up social media.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The FBI is warning the public about a recent phishing scam via text that claims its targets owe money in Pennsylvania for unpaid road toll charges.

Your Apple Music settings may be revealing to your contacts what you're listening to. Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explains the process to change those settings.

Learn how to secure social media accounts, implement legacy contacts, and create a digital estate plan to protect your online assets from 'ghost hackers' after your death.

A ported phone number scam is leading to more people having their identities stolen by sophisticated scammers. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson tells you what you need to know.

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a vast marine debris vortex, is being tackled by The Ocean Cleanup’s innovative technologies. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains.

Discover easy solutions to tame autocorrect frustration on iOS and Android devices. Turn off, customize and add personal touches to your typing experience.

When a Parent has WLS: What to Tell Our Chubby Children

Weight Loss