What's holding you back?
One of my clients came to me saying he wanted to expand his business - something he had thought about for years. He described the changes he wanted to make but he had taken limited action to make those changes happen. When he talked about what he wanted, his eyes lit up, he smiled, and there was passion and joy in his voice. Years? What was stopping him? I listened as he expressed his internal conflict. He said " My business is going well, and it's not like I have to make changes, maybe it's not that important? on and on." Bottom line - some part of him inside continued to feel unfulfilled.
On the surface, it sounded like the changes he wanted to make were for financial gains. Talking further, he realized he was really speaking of a level of service (how he wanted to help people improve their quality of life) and personal fulfillment (actualizing his values, purpose, and vision) that would come from aligning who he is and what he does in a BIGGER way.
We discussed the things he told himself that allowed him to remain stationary. His initial objection was "If I put myself out and take some risks- what if I fail?" (What if this or that happens??? ) I replied, " With all the years of experience you have thinking about what you want without committing to action, you have brilliantly SUCCEEDED in FAILING! "Congratulations!!!" His eyes widened, and he burst out laughing. By doing nothing, he insured his success at failing.
Going forward in our coaching sessions, we focused on his attitudes about success/failure AND identified his values, needs, purpose, and vision. Increased self-awareness enabled him to make choices and design strategic actions to create greater life satisfaction and self-fulfillment.
Consider a change you have been thinking/talking about for a while without much progress.
To learn more about what may be holding you back from moving forward, ask yourself:
-- What is your definition of success? What does success mean to you? Be specific.
-- Identify specific successes. What made them successes for you? What value did you receive from succeeding?
-- What fears, concerns, or assumptions do you have associated with success?
-- How would your life change if you were/felt more successful? (at whatever)
-- What would you have to give up? What would you gain?
-- Who would you become? (happier, self-confident, authentic, stronger???)
In exploring your attitudes about failure, consider the following:
-- What is your definition of failure? What does failure mean to you?
-- If you fail at something, does that define YOU as a failure?
-- What specific failures have you experienced? What value have you received from failing? Be specific
-- What fears, concerns, or assumptions do you associate with failure? Are they true?
-- Can there be success in failure? If yes, how? If no, say more.
-- If you could not fail, what would you be doing? Who would you be?
Fear of success/failure are two sides of the same experience. By definition, success and failure is perceived from multiple viewpoints. Both results offer opportunities for self-discovery and change. Developing the clarity to know who you are on the inside is a key ingredient to achieve rich outcomes with ease, strength, and focus! To live fully, you must fully participate ? succeeding and failing for the joy of the experience.
Copyright 2003, Lorraine Cohen
____________________________________________
Lorraine Cohen of Powerfull Living (http://www.powerfull-living.biz) is a Business Coach and Life Strategist and Team Member of Solo-E (http://www.powerfull-living.biz). Integrating her therapy background with coaching, she helps people make more money, manage their time, increase self-assurance, resolve inner conflict, stay focused on the results they want, and balance work and home life.
____________________________________________
*********** Find more articles like this at http://www.powerfull-living.biz ? Keeping Solo Entrepreneurs Juiced in Business and in Life. Our team of Solo Entrepreneurs are comprised of small business experts who support others in finding business success with the flexibility and freedom to have a life, too. Network with other freelancers, self-employed and Solo Entrepreneurs in our forums, enjoy our articles and newsletter, and find other online training opportunities. ***********
Mercedes Benz s500 rentals Salem ..Absolutely no one can underestimate the power of the mind... Read More
Being organised is a major step to success and the... Read More
How do you define success?According to the Collins dictionary, success... Read More
If you're so smart, why ain't you rich?Becoming a millionaire... Read More
Thomas Edison wrote his quote " I have not failed,... Read More
In individualistic success models, success is not due to the... Read More
Consider what it takes to become an undeniable success with... Read More
e-Learning is doubling yearly. Classes, e-courses, e-books on how-to and... Read More
If failure is the roadway, then Perseverance is the vehicle... Read More
If you discovered your speaking career depended on how organized... Read More
Personal power is an INSIDE JOB. It doesn't mean getting... Read More
Change is one of the biggest concepts facing today's society.... Read More
Personal missions statements (PMS) are just nothing but the winning... Read More
No one wants to fail. But when in business you... Read More
I have often been asked the question, "What is true... Read More
1. Be Courageous. Flex your risk muscle and step out... Read More
Something For You To Consider?How To Create What You Want... Read More
An acquaintance of mine once lamented that she was utterly... Read More
It can be great to do something new 'for a... Read More
About a month ago, I was hit by a car... Read More
Here are seven essential keys to success. Use these ideas... Read More
When you look into the eyes of a winner, what... Read More
Authors such as Napoleon Hill have produced a great deal... Read More
What are your fears? Fear of failure? Fear of success?What... Read More
I've been coaching for a few years now, and the... Read More
Dowagiac cheap limo service ..There is one big "secret" to success that can help... Read More
Have a therapeutic meltdown It's crunch time: you're two days... Read More
Anytime you are making ground and moving toward success, there... Read More
Imagine you are a fire. Fires burn at different levels... Read More
A good laugh can help in a difficult or tough... Read More
Accelerated learning is not only practical, it is profitable. Acquiring... Read More
Success begins with a personal dream that is bigger than... Read More
Each and every day, there are people all around the... Read More
If you could choose a cartoon character from your childhood... Read More
Today I feel inspired that I should speak more to... Read More
Everyone talks about how to be successful through hard work... Read More
One the most important Self Improvement skills to develop to... Read More
Reading is an integral part of our daily work lives.... Read More
What would one initially think about someone who dropped out... Read More
Why do diets end up in gained weight? Why do... Read More
Picture this scene: Little Johnny's mother places a large piece... Read More
Napoleon Hill, the famous inspirational writer, once met a reader... Read More
What does a sharp saw have to do with lifelong... Read More
If you are looking for a surefire strategy to ensure... Read More
The approach of a new year usually causes us to... Read More
1. Any work activity, unless initiated at the earliest will... Read More
Give back Once you've achieved success, use your skills, talents,... Read More
"Never, never, never give up; never give up, never!." -... Read More
Your mind is the only tool that can create success... Read More
Everything you are or ever will be is completely up... Read More
Success |