In my experience, most of us spend a lot more time living in problem land, griping and complaining, than we do in solution land, working hard and enjoying solving problems.
It's almost become a national past time. Just check out a talk show or a self help book. Almost all the time and space is spent describing, giving examples, and complaining about the problem, with, if we're lucky, only a glimpse at possible solutions.
Drives me nuts.
Having said all that, let's look at some signs and symptoms of problem land and some signs and solutions for solution land.
How to Live in Problem Land
Complain. A lot. Raise it to an art form.
When something goes wrong, immediately look for someone to blame.
A cousin to the one above, when something goes wrong, take no responsibility for changing things.
Keep a working list of all offenses ever done to you, and bring them up when anything bad happens.
Spend 95% of your time focusing on and complaining about the problem, and only 5% on working toward a solution. This my biggest gripe with most self-help books.
Make lots of disempowering, self-defeating statements, such as: "This isn't fair." "This shouldn't be happening" "This isn't my fault"
Follow this up with disempowering, self-defeating questions, such as: "Why is the world out to get me?" "Why doesn't God like me?"
Or as Rabbit says in Winnie the Pooh, "Why does this always happen to me? Why, oh why, oh why?"
All of above factors keep your focus on the problem instead of the solution. At best, you may be able to get someone to feel sorry for you, and at worst, you stay stuck in the problem.
How to Live in Solution Land
Number one rule. When problems arise (and they will), look for solutions. In the movie "Rising Sun", actor Sean Connery has this great line, "In America, when something goes wrong, we look for someone to blame. In Japan, when something goes wrong, they look for solutions."
Consider this quote from Richard Bach, author of "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah.": "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it's hands. We seek problems because we need their gifts."
Ask questions that lead to action, such as: "How can I make this work for me?" "What might be the gift for me in this problem?"
Spend no more that 5% of your time and energy complaining about the problem, and 95% of your time and energy creatively solving the problem.
Consider these solutions oriented questions from motivational expert Tony Robbins:
What's not perfect yet?
What's good about this problem? If you can't think of anything good, ask "If there was something good about this, what would it be?" What am I willing to do to solve this problem?
What am I willing to no longer do to solve this problem?
What actions can I take that will help me solve this problem and enjoy the process?
"There is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to notice and small enough to solve quickly." Attack problems early and head on, before they have a chance to grow.
I'll close with a fantastic quote from W. Mitchell, one to live by: "It's not what happens to us in life that makes the difference. It's what we do about it." In other words, we have the power of choice. Problem land or solution land, which will it be for you?
Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
ohare limo service Grand Rapids ..STRESS & TIME MANAGEMENT: Stress is either the source or... Read More
When was the last time you took a day just... Read More
"Learn how to turn frustration into fascination. You will learn... Read More
Take a moment to think about the week that just... Read More
When it is all said and done, do you feel... Read More
My first real job (schedule, time clock, paycheck, boss) was... Read More
Do you have stress in your life?......I know you answered... Read More
We are not designed for long term stress.It causes us... Read More
10 Ways to Monitor Corporate Stress LevelsGood military leaders work... Read More
Do you feel that you just don't have the time... Read More
It's no secret that we women, by virtue of our... Read More
First, let's make a distinction between pressure and stress. We... Read More
Defending your point of view can use up a lot... Read More
Question 1"How do I get more time to play?"Answer: Schedule... Read More
Work related tensions, personal issues and abnormal lifestyles are the... Read More
ExcusesWe all have them. It amazes me how creative I... Read More
So, you've recognised that you are suffering from stress and... Read More
As tools for change are discussed, one tool - that... Read More
In a hectic world, it's all too easy to reach... Read More
Workers across America will tell you that stresslevels are increasing.... Read More
I'm sure you have heard of IBS, irritable bowel syndrome,... Read More
When we think about stress in the workplace, we usually... Read More
When Army leaders fail to control battlefield stress, they lose... Read More
26 ways to minimize and manage the unhealthy effects of... Read More
Genuine enthusiasm...real feeling of accomplishment...sense of satisfaction and fun. Welcome... Read More
executive chauffeured services Barrington Hills ..In order to free ourselves from the pain of anger... Read More
I came out of a nightmare 5-year period of anxiety... Read More
How much attention is paid to one of the biggest... Read More
Everyone needs successful stress management techniques. Easy to learn and... Read More
Everyone knows that stress isn't good - that it can... Read More
What is the greatest fear of man? Is it death?... Read More
Q:We recently had someone come to our company to talk... Read More
If you have recently lost health insurance coverage through your... Read More
Author and speaker H. Stephen Glenn has said,"In terms of... Read More
Life is funny.Throughout the day, there are plenty of humorous... Read More
Over the years I've collected scores of comics and cartoons... Read More
Feeling stressed? Who isn't!! In today's society, feeling "stressed out,"... Read More
After a stressful day as a computer programmer, Jim pulled... Read More
The fall season signals a shift in most people's minds.... Read More
Stressed? Relax Right Now with 5 Super-Simple Stress-BustersStressed-out? Don't know... Read More
I love a good story and I know I'm not... Read More
Looking for all of the answers in how to manage... Read More
This heading may seem like a contradiction in terms. How... Read More
Among the hardest parts of living in the modern world... Read More
Let's face it. If you are stressed, agitated and flitting... Read More
Stress ReliefStress is a big business in Western society. We... Read More
We've all experienced it-computerized technology that doesn't function properly. PCs... Read More
It was one of the first words you learned to... Read More
Did you know that more than half of our adult... Read More
If you find symptoms of anxiety disorder in any of... Read More
Stress Management |