Coming face to face with yourself in the space between the beginning and end of the transitions in your life is a scary place to be. Going backward in not an option. Going forward is just as unimagineable without a road map. It's where your soul meets the devil. It's where hope and hopelessness are synonomous. You come face to face with your demons as your self protective ego runs scampering into the darkness realizing she no longer fools you with her grandiose schemes and plans. And without the protection from your ego your old self defeating habits take over your life and side rail your best intentions to be that productive person you long ago ceased to be.
When somebody tries to tell you this is good news you want to turn and run. But when you think about it, how could self growth happen any other way. These old habits have always been there under the surface making your life miserable. You just tolerated them because you were so happily engaged in your life. But then Divine discontent sets in and you start asking more from life. And this more can't be born out of the old self with the old habits. You have to be more to have more. So as your old self shakes apart these old habits rise to the surface like pebbles in the sea. You only see them as obstacles obscuring your path. However, if you take the time to examine them and learn about them you find they are actually pearls of wisdom. They hold the keys to your new self. The new self that will give birth to your new life. They are gifts that lead you to God and set you free.
This is the work we came here to do. It's not easy. No one says it is. But we grow by facing our demons and watching them transform into new strengths. New strengths that we are going to need as we set out on our new path. There is no other way to self acutalization. No short cuts exist. However, the new life we find in the process is well worth the pain. And very soon we realize we do not do this work alone.
Kathy Armstrong
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